Photos
Quotes
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Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Revenge. Fear. The merciless infliction of pain. These are my kingdoms. The first time I gave a wedgie to a kid, I was four years old.
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Rachel Berry : [after getting egged by Vocal Adrenaline] And now I just keep having nightmares of all of the mothers of the little baby chicks coming after me for revenge.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Oh, this is bull! Finn, Mike, Matt, come with me.
Finn Hudson : Right on. It's time for less talking and more punching.
Will Schuester : [entering as they leave] Hey, what's going on?
Finn Hudson : We're on our way to go all "Braveheart" on Vocal Adrenaline.
Will Schuester : No, guys, violence is never the answer.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Oh, it is when the question is "What's the best way to mess up that Jesse kid's face?".
Kurt Hummel : Mr. Schue, Rachel's one of us. We're the only ones who get to humiliate her.
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Will Schuester : [Puck, Finn, and Mercedes finish "Good Vibrations"] Great job, guys, but that's not funk. I mean, the group is called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, but that is a rap song.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : A kick-butt old school rap song.
Artie Abrams : Does it really matter, Mr. Schue? I mean, we're so clinically depressed, we're doing the wrong songs. We're in a deeper funk than ever.
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Will Schuester : [writing "funk" on the whiteboard] Funk. Use it in a sentence.
[everyone stays silent]
Will Schuester : Come on. Rachel.
Rachel Berry : This cheese smells funky.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : That's 'cause it's "from-unda" cheese.
Rachel Berry : Shut it, Puckerman!
Will Schuester : Okay, okay. I was thinking more along the lines of... Vocal Adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk.
Kurt Hummel : I'm so depressed, I've worn the same outfit twice this week.
Will Schuester : What if I told you I knew how we could shove it right back down their throats? New Directions is about to make their funk the P-funk. We are going to get funked up. The only way to do that is to beat them at Regionals. Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They're a machine; a collective, synthesized, soulless beat. Funk is soul meets anger. Its passion is in its emotion. And Vocal Adrenaline doesn't perform with any. So you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley High into...
[singing]
Will Schuester : Funky town.
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Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Yeah, I did it. And I'm proud. All I did was step up and be a man. They got what was coming to them.
Shelby Corcoran : A few of my students TPed your choir room. You slashed the tires on the Range Rovers of all twenty-six of my performers. Those were gifts for our win at sectionals. That's 200 times 26 times 4 equals... I don't have a calculator.
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Artie Abrams : It's a Carmel High tradition. They psych out the competition a few weeks before the big show. They call it a funkification, meaning they show us what they've got, and we spiral into a deep, black funk.
Finn Hudson : Yeah. Yeah, we used to do the same thing to other football teams. You know, try and get inside their head before the big game, pull little pranks to intimidate them.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Yeah, well, the difference was our football team sucked. Those guys are golden.
Kurt Hummel : Come on, keep your heads up, guys. It's going to take more than that to...
[stunned to see the choir room TPed]
Kurt Hummel : ...get us into a funk.
