Glee (TV Series)

Laryngitis (2010)

Amber Riley: Mercedes Jones

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mercedes Jones : [Puck and a group of jocks are tossing nerds into a dumpster]  Puck, what the hell is going on here?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Just a little payback. You hear that? That's the sound of order being restored.

  Mercedes Jones : No man of mine is gonna be pulling stuff like this.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Babe, this is what we do. Look at 'em. They need this. Without the fear of a good dumpster toss, it'd be chaos up in this place. Look, you don't need to like it, but you need to accept it: this is the way things are. 'Cause now, we're part of the system. We're at the top of the heap.

  [to the line of nerds] 

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Who's next?

• Mercedes Jones : Look, Quinn, I could never see myself being into a guy like Puck, especially since he's your baby's daddy, but... something just happened between us.

  Quinn Fabray : I say... go for it.

  Mercedes Jones : What?

  Quinn Fabray : Look... I screwed up by letting Puck get me pregnant. He's an idiot, and his mother won't let me eat bacon. I'm stuck living with him right now, but at least, if you guys are dating, I won't have to spend so much time listening to his insane theories on how "Super Mario Brothers" changed civilization.

• Mercedes Jones : [Puck is trying to impress her so he can start dating her]  What are they doing here?

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : I invited my brothers from the jazz band and their righteous horns to help me out with my song. Since I shaved my mohawk, I started seeing things differently. Last week, I joined a black church, and I recently downloaded every song Sammy Davis Jr. ever recorded on iTunes. He was a black Jew, you know. And my inspiration. So, without further ado, I give you one of Sammy's biggest hits.

• Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Hey, sugar. Listen. I got a proposition to make. I did some research. Blacks and Jews have a history of sticking up for each other. And Wikipedia says that King Martin Luther loved the Jews.

  Mercedes Jones : Okay, you just said, like, ten offensive things.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : My point is you're popular now. And I got to be honest... I need to spice up my image a little. We should join forces. It wouldn't take much. Just a little light making out. And I like a girl with curves. You got to admit, I'm easy on the eyes.

  Mercedes Jones : Baby, I just am not attracted to you. Plus, I know what you do the girls you date. You knock them up, and then you hang them out to dry.

  Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Quinn and I weren't dating. She was dating someone else. We just did the nasty. And she understood you can't tie me down. I'm a sex shark. If I stop moving, I die.

  Mercedes Jones : Okay, I'm gonna ask you to stop, because I'm starting to get embarrassed for you.