Glee (TV Series)

Bad Reputation (2010)

Chris Colfer: Kurt Hummel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Will Schuester : Look, I know you know something! So we're not leaving here until I get some answers.

  Kurt Hummel : Mr. Schuester, may I be blunt?

  Will Schuester : [exasperated sigh]  Shoot.

  Kurt Hummel : Ever since you separated from your wife, you've spent a lot of late nights watching reruns of "Law & Order", haven't you?

  [seeing his expression] 

  Kurt Hummel : Hmm. Thought so. And no, I didn't make the Glist.

• Artie Abrams : Remember, if Sylvester hits you in the face after you cop to posting the video, don't scream like a woman.

  Mercedes Jones : You're so brave for doing this, Kurt.

  Kurt Hummel : I know. Thank you.

• Kurt Hummel : Coach Sylvester, can I have just a minute of your time?

  Sue Sylvester : What do you want, ladyface?

  Kurt Hummel : You're aware a tape was leaked onto the Internet, causing you to become a national laughingstock? We stole the tape from your syringe and pill drawer. We posted it online. We'll accept whatever punishment you see fit.

  Sue Sylvester : So it was you. I can't thank you enough.

  [Kurt looks around at the others, confused; cut to them in a classroom] 

  Artie Abrams : She wasn't angry at all. It was weird.

  Tina Cohen-Chang : Maybe the comments online have gotten so mean, people have started to feel sorry for her. She's finally getting some sympathy, so she's in a forgiving mood.

• Kurt Hummel : We're as menacing as Muppet Babies. Which means our squeaky-clean reputations are still very much intact.

  Artie Abrams : We have to do what we've been dreading, something more terrifying than Rachel's personality. We have to go to Sylvester and admit that we posted the "Physical" video.

  Tina Cohen-Chang : But we'll get suspended.

  Kurt Hummel : And it will be worth it. Finally the entire student body will see us as badasses.

• Kurt Hummel : [planning to cause a disturbance in the school library]  Team, listen up. If we pull this off, we will be legends at this school. We'll rocket up the Glist. We'll be top five, easy. Artie, pump up the jam. It's about to go down.

• Kurt Hummel : Fellow Glee Clubbers, I've called this meeting because our free-falling reps have reached terminal velocity. We are at DEFCON 1.

  Mercedes Jones : We're such zeroes, they didn't even bother putting us on the Glist.

  Kurt Hummel : What does a C-lister do when their tiny star is about to fall off Perez Hilton's radar screen? They cause a scandal so extreme they can no longer be ignored.

• Kurt Hummel : What is the worst thing a student can do at this school?

  Tina Cohen-Chang : Eat in the cafeteria?

  [she and Mercedes snicker] 

  Kurt Hummel : No. Be a disruption in the library. And I'm not talking about trying to check out a reference book. Mm-mm. I'm talking about full-on chaos. Including getting your Glee on in the stacks.

  Artie Abrams : Genius.

• Finn Hudson : That's not Olivia Newton-John. That's... that's Sue Sylvester. Where did you get this?

  Kurt Hummel : I can tell you that I certainly did not steal it from her locked file cabinet yesterday when she sent me back to her office to get her hormone replacement injection during Cheerios practice.

  Artie Abrams : Wait, did she just do the Cabbage Patch?

  Finn Hudson : I'm posting this on YouTube.

  Rachel Berry : No, no, wait, wait. Do you think that's a good idea? She might kill us.

  Mercedes Jones : Oh, let her get a taste of some of the humiliation she put us through.

• [first lines] 

  Finn Hudson : What's so funny?

  Rachel Berry : You guys aren't watching the video of me falling off stage at my first TinyTots beauty pageant, are you?

  Kurt Hummel : That was Carrot Top funny compared to this comedic tour de force.

  Jesse St. James : That's Olivia Newton-John's "Physical". It was pretty groundbreaking subject matter at the time, considering its depiction of fluid sexuality.