- Maltravers: Why does an Austrian being killed by a Serb in Bosnia mean war, Sir?
- General: Because of Russia!
- Maltravers: Right. Why?
- General: Because Russia supports Serbia, and Austria supports Bosnia.
- Blenkinsop: I support Arsenal.
- General: [Exasperated] Shut up, Blenkinsop!
- Maltravers: How does this involve Britain, Sir?
- General: Well Maltravers, who would you say is your best friend?
- Maltravers: Oh, er... Blenkinsop, Sir. He's a spiffing fellow!
- General: Hmm. And if I were to punch Blenkinsop in the nose, what do you think you would do?
- Maltravers: Well!
- [Stands up defiantly]
- Maltravers: Nobody punches Blenkinsop and gets away with it!
- Blenkinsop: [Also stands up] Thanks, Old Bean!
- [They shake hands and sit back down]
- General: Exactly, exactly. So, if Russia threatens Austria, Austria's best friend will offer support. And who is Austria's best friend?
- Maltravers: *Not* Blenkinsop?
- General: No - Germany! Germany is Austria's best friend, Maltravers!
- Maltravers, Blenkinsop: [singing] Austria and Germany, sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
- General: YES!