This is so disappointing to me specifically, I have been looking forward to watching Amityville Karen for so long and this is so bad?! Why is that? It's really not anything. There's occasionally a funny line but this is 104 minutes (and so much of it is nonsense it could have easily been cut to 70 mins) and 90% of the jokes fall flat, not to mention Karen is horrible at being an actual Karen - half of the time she sounds so unsure of what she's saying and I think she was just ad-libbing? She isn't good at it!!! I am so upset. How could they do this to me. I want to talk to Shawn C Philip's manager.
8 Reviews
They spent how much on this crap?!
itsabacus200913 December 2022
I wasn't going to review this movie... At first, but then I saw how much money the creatures spent to make this rubbish! Over 200 thousand dollars and THIS is what you gave us?! You could have bought over 3 houses or 1000 SUVs or ANYTHING else would be better than what we got! What is this crap?! Don't give me that crap and say, "What do you expect? It's a low budget movie" Know what else is a low budget movie? Terminator! Point being, that you could get BETTER actors for 200 THOUSAND dollars! This was more like 2$ at BEST! Seriously, 200K is a modest budget, sure it's not a million but it's NOT chump change either! I've seen better movies that WERE made for LESS! There's no valid excuse for this film! Pure crap; not worth anyone's time. I gave it 2 stars because that's how many good jokes this movie had; no other reason. Watch something else, seriously; don't waste your time with this garbage.
Oh, dear
julietfischer1 January 2023
I knew it would be bad. I didn't expect Val Lewton. I didn't even expect James Nguyen or Ed Wood. Just--not this. It's not even fun bad.
The script doesn't even try. Karen is a poorly-written caricature of the women who make lives miserable with petty displays of power. Her boyfriend(?) makes James Nguyen's protagonists look like Cary Grant. None of the actors add anything. They say the lines, and their paychecks didn't bounce.
Its budget is low, and there's no sign they even tried to be creative within it. Absolutely no scares or tension in any of the scenes.
Still, they'll make enough to recoup expenses.
The script doesn't even try. Karen is a poorly-written caricature of the women who make lives miserable with petty displays of power. Her boyfriend(?) makes James Nguyen's protagonists look like Cary Grant. None of the actors add anything. They say the lines, and their paychecks didn't bounce.
Its budget is low, and there's no sign they even tried to be creative within it. Absolutely no scares or tension in any of the scenes.
Still, they'll make enough to recoup expenses.
Was there even pre-production?
andrew_wyke25 February 2023
Honestly, this movie is horrible. Many of the actors seem to simply read their lines -- you can see their eyes moving while looking down or off-camera, clearly reading the text. The plot barely makes any sense. Many of the scenes look as though they could just be improv'd. The dialog is really bad. In addition, the costumes/dress and makeup are also ridiculous -- Francesca spends the entire time in a ridiculous wig, half the scenes feature actors who are sweating profusely, and Phillips spends the film dressed in a pair of odd shorts and a button-up white shirt that's about 3 sizes too large for him. Finally, the film clocks it an almost an hour and 45 minutes, which is about half an hour too long for the amount of story that's actually in the movie. Honestly, unless one wants to be supportive of Phillips or Francesca, there's really no reason to watch this.
I thought this was a parody
katholloway-300645 January 2023
I THOUGHT THIS WAS A PARODY AT FIRST LMAO BUT NO-
Anyway bad movie and I haven't even watched it. I can just tell its bad. Me and my friends could probably film a movie with our phones and it would be better than this. I don't even have friends, so that means non existent people could make a movie better than this....thing, can't even call it a movie at this point. It would actually be funnier if it was a parody, but knowing it's an actual movie that someone out there thought was a good idea made me lose faith in humanity even more than I've already lost it. Anyway, I gotta go my fish is barking at my dog again and my dog won't stop meowing back so I have to take care of that, cya.
Anyway bad movie and I haven't even watched it. I can just tell its bad. Me and my friends could probably film a movie with our phones and it would be better than this. I don't even have friends, so that means non existent people could make a movie better than this....thing, can't even call it a movie at this point. It would actually be funnier if it was a parody, but knowing it's an actual movie that someone out there thought was a good idea made me lose faith in humanity even more than I've already lost it. Anyway, I gotta go my fish is barking at my dog again and my dog won't stop meowing back so I have to take care of that, cya.
This dream is offensive! Cover up!
selfdestructo23 March 2023
The second I saw Ron Bonk's name in the credits, I'm like, I know that name! He was the guy responsible for the abortion known as House Shark. And I got exactly what I expected (well, more on that later) out of good ol Ron. Namely, a dull, talky, and overlong "horror" movie.
Amityville Karen fails on nearly every level, including successfully commenting on, or even portraying Karens... but there is one saving grace in this whole cluster-F; That is the performance of Karen herself, by the beautiful Lauren Francesca. In a movie chock full of mugging, camping it up, reading haphazardly off of cue cards, severely over-improvising, and just plain being obnoxious, Francesca was not only the sole actor I felt had any talent (I'm looking at you, James Duval!), but she provided the only laughs to be had in this movie.
Yes, this is another Bonk production where you REALLY can't judge the book by its cover. How does this sound to you? Wine (and beer... complete with "bros!") tastings, a winery with... wine bar?, an obnoxious wine aficionado, a wine unveiling, zoning complications, some sort of bizarre, horrible band who "performs" at the winery with an unplugged bass and mic, their conniving manager, inaudible dialogue, an overlong coda that bleeds into the credits, attempting to comment on Karens, serial killers, and assorted political BS. Oh, the new wine from Amityville is cursed. That's the bulk of the focus. Honestly, who gives an S about their stupid wine tasting, and all its red tape?! As much as I enjoyed Francesca, this movie fails as an Amityville movie, AND a Karen movie. That's the whole title!
I'll tell you why. Every character in this film is equally, if not more obnoxious than Karen is. So, I'm on HER side half the time, and when she drinks the cursed wine and goes psychotic, I couldn't WAIT for her to off these people (and... the worst offender survives to the end). Ok, Karen is supposed to be the obnoxious, entitled, and irrational person (who eternally needs to see the supervisor!). There's no one to play off of that. I just rolled with her antics! And Amityville is a totally peripheral plot point, at least as far as the official movies go.
If you're a fan of Lauren Francesca, she's very funny here, she does go psychotic, and on a killing spree. Otherwise, *snooze*...
Extras: The over-improvisor is... The director!
Amityville Karen fails on nearly every level, including successfully commenting on, or even portraying Karens... but there is one saving grace in this whole cluster-F; That is the performance of Karen herself, by the beautiful Lauren Francesca. In a movie chock full of mugging, camping it up, reading haphazardly off of cue cards, severely over-improvising, and just plain being obnoxious, Francesca was not only the sole actor I felt had any talent (I'm looking at you, James Duval!), but she provided the only laughs to be had in this movie.
Yes, this is another Bonk production where you REALLY can't judge the book by its cover. How does this sound to you? Wine (and beer... complete with "bros!") tastings, a winery with... wine bar?, an obnoxious wine aficionado, a wine unveiling, zoning complications, some sort of bizarre, horrible band who "performs" at the winery with an unplugged bass and mic, their conniving manager, inaudible dialogue, an overlong coda that bleeds into the credits, attempting to comment on Karens, serial killers, and assorted political BS. Oh, the new wine from Amityville is cursed. That's the bulk of the focus. Honestly, who gives an S about their stupid wine tasting, and all its red tape?! As much as I enjoyed Francesca, this movie fails as an Amityville movie, AND a Karen movie. That's the whole title!
I'll tell you why. Every character in this film is equally, if not more obnoxious than Karen is. So, I'm on HER side half the time, and when she drinks the cursed wine and goes psychotic, I couldn't WAIT for her to off these people (and... the worst offender survives to the end). Ok, Karen is supposed to be the obnoxious, entitled, and irrational person (who eternally needs to see the supervisor!). There's no one to play off of that. I just rolled with her antics! And Amityville is a totally peripheral plot point, at least as far as the official movies go.
If you're a fan of Lauren Francesca, she's very funny here, she does go psychotic, and on a killing spree. Otherwise, *snooze*...
Extras: The over-improvisor is... The director!
Amityville has...a Karen problem
BandSAboutMovies25 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The true Amityville curse is that I must watch all of these films. Just look at this ever-expanding article and Letterboxd list.
Has everything been done in the world of 112 Ocean Avenue?
Director Shawn C. Phillips and writer Julie Anne Prescott say no and also want to speak to your manager.
Just look at this line: "Every neighborhood has a Karen and Amityville is no exception."
Karen (Lauren Francesca) is so cold and mean to people that she insults them in her sleep. Her latest target is a local winery (run by James Duval!). After getting service that isn't to her liking, she takes a bottle of wine. A bottle of cursed wine. I mean, this is Amityville after all.
That said, this movie may not need to be an hour and forty-five minutes. It could get tighter, but that said, it does have a death by corkscrew, which is always something that I enjoy in a film.
Somehow, the movie slides into an underground occult circle within the town -- it's Amityville, come on, be open -- as well as female demons which means that yes, this movie may not have foreign investors demanding nudity but it has nudity all the same.
This is Phillips' first solo film and he was wise to get Francesca as his lead. She's really great in the role and is understated when you expect this to be out of control the whole time. The film nearly gets her to be a sympathetic figure if she wasn't abusing everyone around her nearly all the time.
If you watch a lot of direct to streaming and disk horror, you'll recognize a lot of the cast, including Jennifer Nangle, Caleb Thomas, Ashleeann Cittell, Derek K. Long, Marc Pearce, Mike Ferguson and Dawna Lee Heising.
I think what this movie needs are some fun taglines for the poster, however. So I will attempt to write a few in the hopes that they get used for the sequel:
For God's sake, she wants to speak to your manager.
She's so haunted that it's unacceptable.
Do not lose her business.
All lives no longer matter.
Bleached. Bobbed. Possessed.
She demands death. And an apology.
I wait to see where Amityville movies go from here and raise you Amityvid-19, Make Amityvilel Great Again and Critical Amityville Theory.
Has everything been done in the world of 112 Ocean Avenue?
Director Shawn C. Phillips and writer Julie Anne Prescott say no and also want to speak to your manager.
Just look at this line: "Every neighborhood has a Karen and Amityville is no exception."
Karen (Lauren Francesca) is so cold and mean to people that she insults them in her sleep. Her latest target is a local winery (run by James Duval!). After getting service that isn't to her liking, she takes a bottle of wine. A bottle of cursed wine. I mean, this is Amityville after all.
That said, this movie may not need to be an hour and forty-five minutes. It could get tighter, but that said, it does have a death by corkscrew, which is always something that I enjoy in a film.
Somehow, the movie slides into an underground occult circle within the town -- it's Amityville, come on, be open -- as well as female demons which means that yes, this movie may not have foreign investors demanding nudity but it has nudity all the same.
This is Phillips' first solo film and he was wise to get Francesca as his lead. She's really great in the role and is understated when you expect this to be out of control the whole time. The film nearly gets her to be a sympathetic figure if she wasn't abusing everyone around her nearly all the time.
If you watch a lot of direct to streaming and disk horror, you'll recognize a lot of the cast, including Jennifer Nangle, Caleb Thomas, Ashleeann Cittell, Derek K. Long, Marc Pearce, Mike Ferguson and Dawna Lee Heising.
I think what this movie needs are some fun taglines for the poster, however. So I will attempt to write a few in the hopes that they get used for the sequel:
For God's sake, she wants to speak to your manager.
She's so haunted that it's unacceptable.
Do not lose her business.
All lives no longer matter.
Bleached. Bobbed. Possessed.
She demands death. And an apology.
I wait to see where Amityville movies go from here and raise you Amityvid-19, Make Amityvilel Great Again and Critical Amityville Theory.
Amityville Horror
shitflicks12 April 2023
You know what? I was all for rating this a 1, and then at the last minute I changed my mind. Yeah it was poor, but it was fun. You get an air of authenticity that you just don't get from a well-polished movie. Stuff like forgetting lines and improvising and stuff like that usually isn't captured on film.
The fact it took them 5 days to make is no surprise, they were obviously on a budget and a timescale. They could have invested some of their money in a better mic though, some of the scenes I could hardly hear what they were saying.
I sometimes question why these people start out in these movies, and I know you have to start somewhere. And when that somewhere is here, I wonder where you actually think you're going to go. But ya know if someone offered me a part in a movie I'd probably take it.
The fact it took them 5 days to make is no surprise, they were obviously on a budget and a timescale. They could have invested some of their money in a better mic though, some of the scenes I could hardly hear what they were saying.
I sometimes question why these people start out in these movies, and I know you have to start somewhere. And when that somewhere is here, I wonder where you actually think you're going to go. But ya know if someone offered me a part in a movie I'd probably take it.
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