- Larvelle Jones: Where are the kidnappers now?
- Carey Mahoney: [checks homing device] According to this, in the kitchen.
- Thomas 'House' Conklin: Hmmm! They sound like my kinda guys.
- Carl Sweetchuck: [wearing Debbie's wedding dress] I-i-it feels like I've been running for miles, for Myles.
- Mrs. De Bullion: This priceless locket is my gift for my future daughter-in-law. It's been in our family for generations.
- Carey Mahoney: Hey, there's nothing wrong with hand-me-downs.
- Mrs. De Bullion: Well, I never!
- [the bride and groom shove their knife into the cake. Harris comes flying out the top, screaming in pain and clutching his rear]
- Carey Mahoney: Why, Captain, this really does take the cake.
- Captain Thaddeus Harris: Mahoney, I'll have you put in solitary for this!
- Carey Mahoney: Aw, you'd never do that, Captain. You're too sweet a guy.
- [Zed brushes some of the icing off of the cake with his finger and licks it]
- Zed McGlunk: Yeah, real sweet.
- [Harris sobs]