- Police Chief: Lassard, I didn't know your fish was an opera lover?
- Commandant Eric Lassard: Oh yes, yes, he, he especially likes the scales.
- [chuckles]
- Eugene Tackleberry: [about Diva] At least she got over her crush on me.
- Carey Mahoney: The woman is a strange creature. One minute she's yours, and the next minute...
- Eugene Tackleberry: [Diva falls down a trap door] She's gone!
- Mr. Viscalla: [Tack, Zed and Sweetchuck have just entered the opera house by breaking through a sky-light] What is the meaning of this?
- Eugene Tackleberry: Security check. If we can get in that way, anybody can.
- Carl Sweetchuck: Especially now that there's no glass.
- Carl Sweetchuck: [evil laughter is heard from below the trap door] Wha-ha, eh, eh, what was that?
- Zed McGlunk: It sounded like a B-flat.
- Mademoiselle Diva: Don't you hear that ticking? It sounds like love, to me...
- Eugene Tackleberry: It sounds like an explosive device, but don't sweat it, I've had bomb control training.