- Talbot: [to Russell, in a heated argument] You can't buy your way out of everything!
- Russell Edgington: Of course I can. This is America!
- Debbie Pelt: Let me go after them. I'll rip their fucking heads off!
- Russell Edgington: I like your energy. What do you think, Northman?
- Eric Northman: Well, I enjoy a good head-ripping as much as the next vampire. But in this case, it might be wise to consider the value of the heads in question.
- Russell Edgington: You mean the Stackhouse girl? Yeah, she's something special, isn't she?
- Debbie Pelt: She fucked my ex-boyfriend and made him shoot my fiance. She's a cunt.
- Russell Edgington: But she's a special cunt.
- Tara Thornton: You wanna be alone?
- Sookie Stackhouse: No. I used to do this all the time. Just lie in the sun till the whole world faded away.
- Tara Thornton: And your Gran would yell about you putting on sunscreen.
- Tara Thornton, Sookie Stackhouse: "You're frying like a fritter in a pan."
- Sookie Stackhouse: Take another step and I will shoot.
- Debbie Pelt: Why don't you just pull the trigger now? What do you care?
- Sookie Stackhouse: There's people that still love you for reasons I ain't even gonna try to make sense of.
- Talbot: You never said she was going to live with us.
- Russell Edgington: She's my wife, Talbot. We just acquired the state of Louisiana. I thought you would've been excited.
- Talbot: *Excited*? Franklin's brains won't wash off the guest linens. I had to bury werewolves under the gazebo. And that Sookie bitch staked Lorena. I've had enough excitement, thank you.
- Debbie Pelt: They killed my Cooter!
- Russell Edgington: Oh, he died a hero.
- Debbie Pelt: He weren't no hero. He just wanted to do some V and have a little fun.
- Russell Edgington: The real question is: Can I trust you? You turned on your own queen. And now that I've freed your feisty little ward how do I know you won't sell me out as well?
- Eric Northman: Because I have been searching for you for a thousand years.
- [Slightly ominous pause]
- Eric Northman: A true leader. One strong enough to unite us all. I believed my maker, Godric, was such a vampire, but he was weak. He succumbed to his humanity, and it killed him. Dispatching the Magister, that proved without a doubt that my search... It has finally ended.
- Russell Edgington: That was rash and foolish.
- Eric Northman: It was brave and uncompromising. Vampires have yearned for someone to stand up, to the tyranny of the Authority for centuries. Just give me the chance. And I will show you just how deep my loyalty runs.
- Sam Merlotte: Hey, Arlene. Who's this?
- Arlene Fowler: This is Holly, your new waitress.
- Sam Merlotte: Oh.
- Arlene Fowler: Don't sleep with her!
- Crystal Norris: I've been promised to Felton since I was 4.
- Jason Stackhouse: Four years old? Is that even legal?
- Crystal Norris: Case you hadn't noticed, we don't care much for the law in Hotshot.
- Jessica Hamby: You really think they're coming for you?
- Bill Compton: Or Sookie. Or both of us.
- Jessica Hamby: Well, why aren't you with her, then?
- Bill Compton: Because she doesn't want me to be. If she needs me, I will know it.
- Jessica Hamby: All right, she screwed up your proposal, I get it. But the whole time she was looking for you, she was wearing your ring.
- Bill Compton: Jessica, it's over.
- Jessica Hamby: No way.
- Bill Compton: Way.
- Jason Stackhouse: Just because I let Bill give you his blood, don't mean I forgive him. Sook, you need to press charges. What he did to you, that's domestic... something.
- Jason Stackhouse: What did you do, swim here?
- Crystal Norris: It was the only way they couldn't track my scent.
- Jason Stackhouse: What, is that drug-dealer code for something?
- Arlene Fowler: That's Tara. She's all bark and... Well, she bites too.But at least she ain't a vampire like our hostess.
- Holly Cleary: Chili's down in Monroe had a vampire bus boy. He's real fast.
- Arlene Fowler: Well, seems like you're gonna fit in just great around here. Now, this is nice place to work. Don't let nobody tell you different.
- Holly Cleary: You mean all the dead waitresses? I heard. But I figure, world's been around long enough. No matter where you step, somebody's died there.
- Sam Merlotte: Keep your eye on Tara. If she needs anything, get it. She starts yelling or throwing drinks, come and find me.
- Tommy Mickens: Sounds like my kind of girl.
- Sam Merlotte: Don't you flirt with her, either.
- Hadley Hale: I didn't come here to visit. I've got a message for you from Eric Northman.
- Sookie Stackhouse: How do you know Eric? What's he done to you?
- Hadley Hale: Nothing too bad yet. But if I don't tell you this exactly, it ain't gonna be pretty.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Tell me what?
- Hadley Hale: Russell is coming for you. Don't trust Bill.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Oh, and I'm supposed to trust Eric?
- Russell Edgington: I'll tell you what. I'll trade you the red one for the blond one.
- Bill Compton: How about you and I settle this among men?
- Russell Edgington: Oh, how very sexist of you, Bill. When it comes to killing, I have always been an equal opportunist.
- Bill Compton: You are 3000 years old and a king, yet you hide behind guards, wolves, a baby vampire. You a coward... or are you just lazy?
- Russell Edgington: [Throws Jessica to the werewolves] Here you go, Hillbilly Rip her to shreds.
- [Attacks Bill]
- Russell Edgington: Northman was right about you. You are a waste of the blood.