Quotes
Woody Allen, Criswell, Gilalan, Ben Grauer, Mimi Hines, The Muppets
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson
- Johnny Carson - Host: [Opening Monologue] I know you're in a good mood because it's New Year's Eve. I peeked out through the curtain before I came out here a few minutes ago and I saw a man swinging one of those noisemakers. Then I looked a little closer and he had his wife's dentures on a swizzle stick.
- Woody Allen: Two years ago on New Year's Even I was pleasantly high and I went home and jumped naked into a vat of cold Roosevelt dimes.
- Woody Allen: I went to an interfaith camp where I was sadistically beaten by boys of all races and creeds.
- Woody Allen: I'm on the subway and these twelve hoods are on the train. Apparently they'd just come from a settlement house because they were dribbling a social worker through the cars.