Salmon Fishing in the Yemen (2011)
Conleth Hill: Bernard Sugden
Quotes
-
Dr. Alfred Jones : Did you get my email?
Bernard Sugden : Yes. What did it say?
Dr. Alfred Jones : Took the meeting. Waste of time as predicted. Now if you don't mind I'll get back to my work.
Bernard Sugden : Dr. Jones.
[holds up a document which Dr. Jones takes]
Dr. Alfred Jones : What is this?
Bernard Sugden : P45.
Dr. Alfred Jones : I'm sorry. I don't, I don't understand.
Bernard Sugden : Oh, well, a P45 is the official document given to an employee when his services are no longer required by his or her employer.
Dr. Alfred Jones : Yes, but Bernard, this has got my...
Bernard Sugden : Or, you can sign this letter stating that you are delighted to assign yourself exclusively to the Yemeni salmon fishing project with immediate effect. Up to you.
Dr. Alfred Jones : But Bernard, you know as well as I do this thing is a bloody joke. Where the hell you gonna get salmon that far...
Bernard Sugden : [interrupts and taps the P45] Just there.
Dr. Alfred Jones : This is blackmail Sugden. This is a bloody outrage.
Bernard Sugden : Fitzharris & Price will be paying your salary while on secondment. Almost double what it is now. I'd say that's a bloody outrage.
Dr. Alfred Jones : Double. Can I have time to think about this?
Bernard Sugden : Nope.
Dr. Alfred Jones : Can I borrow your pen?
Bernard Sugden : Yah. It's my special one with the italic nib.
[Dr. Jones grabs it, scribbles his signature on the P45 and storms out]
-
Tom Price-Williams : Have you any idea what an outcry there'd be if the Environment Agency stripped British rivers of *ten thousand* salmon and shipped them off to the effing Yemen?
Bernard Sugden : Well how many can you spare?
Tom Price-Williams : None! Christ! Bernard. Anglers, they're obsessive crazies. You think Al-Qaeda are a threat, think again mate! I've seen a fly fisherman wade into a river and try and drown a canoeist just for passing by in a Day-Glo jacket. You haven't got a hope in hell of getting these fish from British rivers.
-
Tom Price-Williams : For the last time Sugden there is absolutely no way I can get you these fish!
Bernard Sugden : Tom, this comes from the top. The very top.
Tom Price-Williams : I don't care if God's taken up fly fishing.
Bernard Sugden : Now I suggest you make this work Tom.
Tom Price-Williams : Is that a threat Sugden?
Bernard Sugden : These are difficult days Tom. Cuts. Cuts everywhere. I don't know. Is the Environment Agency a front line service?
Tom Price-Williams : [sighs] It is a threat.
Bernard Sugden : See it as an opportunity.