True Blood (TV Series)
Frenzy (2009)
Ryan Kwanten: Jason Stackhouse
Quotes
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Jason Stackhouse : You think Sam could turn into a chicken and lay his own egg? Wouldn't that be weird, eating something just came out of you?
Andy Bellefleur : What kind of a perverted brain would even think of something like that?
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Jason Stackhouse : Why ain't you never liked me, Andy? Was it because of how much pussy I get?
Detective Andy Bellefleur : No.
Jason Stackhouse : 'Cause I ain't never taken any pussy away from you. There is more than enough pussy to go around.
Detective Andy Bellefleur : It ain't about pussy! I just think you've had everything to easy.
Jason Stackhouse : What have I ever had that was easy?
Detective Andy Bellefleur : You were all-state quarter back.
Jason Stackhouse : You think that was easy? I'm startin' to have knee issues and I ain't even thirty yet. What else?
Detective Andy Bellefleur : Well yeah, women do just throw themselves at you. You don't even have to do anything.
Jason Stackhouse : Yeah well, actually I do. I work out like a mother-fucker and I watch a lotta porn to learn stuff. What else?... My best friend killed my grandma and my girlfriend. I come from no money. My momma and daddy died when I was eleven.
Detective Andy Bellefleur : So did mine!
Jason Stackhouse : Your daddy died in Vietnam, but your momma ran off with some yankee race car driver. You may hate me, Andy Bellefleur. You may think you're better than me and maybe you are. But you and me are the ones who have received the callin' to save this town! So obviously God wants us to bury the hatchet.
Detective Andy Bellefleur : [understanding] It's all up to us, aint' it?
Jason Stackhouse : It is and we can't fuck it up.
Detective Andy Bellefleur : [certain] We won't fuck it up.
Jason Stackhouse : This town might be full of crazy rednecks and dumb-asses, but they're still Americans.
Detective Andy Bellefleur : That used to mean something.
Jason Stackhouse : It still does!
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Jason Stackhouse : You think Sam's ever turned into a dog and then had s*x with a lady dog?
Detective Andy Bellefleur : Jesus, Jason, you're talkin' about bestiality!
Jason Stackhouse : No, it ain't bestiality if there ain't a human involved.
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Jason Stackhouse : [as they clean up Merlotte's] Seriously, you can become any animal, any time?
Sam Merlotte : Yes as long as I imprint on them.
Jason Stackhouse : That is fuckin' cool man.
Detective Andy Bellefleur : Yeah well as cool as that may be, we still got a maenad we gotta deal with before it takes our whole town out.
Sam Merlotte : Listen, you can't deal with it. Alright? Your best bet's to leave while you still can.
Jason Stackhouse : Shouldn't was at least get the law involved?
Detective Andy Bellefleur : [offended] I am involved!
Jason Stackhouse : There's Sheriff Dearborne, Kenya, the other guy... the squirrely one.
Detective Andy Bellefleur : Sheriff's station was wide open and empty. It ain't gonna help.
Jason Stackhouse : Then "we" are the law. Guys, I read a book about this. This is armageddon. This is the oral history of the zombie war... we need weapons. Lots of them.
Sam Merlotte : Listen, I hate to break it to you but guns aren't going to do jack-shit to Maryann and you can't shoot anybody else. These are our friends. This is our town.
Jason Stackhouse : Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That's in the Bible or the Constitution.
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Jason Stackhouse : We gotta fix things, Andy. I ain't lettin' weird shit take over my town!
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Jason Stackhouse : Shouldn't was at least get the law involved?
Detective Andy Bellefleur : [offended] I am involved!
Jason Stackhouse : Well, I meant Sheriff Dearborne, Kenya, that other guy, the squirrelly one...
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Jason Stackhouse : You ain't got nothin' like grenades, flamethrowers?
Rosie : I'll tell you. If you let me blow you.
Jason Stackhouse : Rosie, I ain't never taken advantage of someone while she was fucked up.
Rosie : What a liar! I know for a fact that Patsy Lyle passed out in the middle of having sex with you.
Jason Stackhouse : She was fine when it started!