Rhodri Meilir: Alfie Butts

Quotes 

• Alfie Butts : [to Peter]  Actually, I quite enjoy funerals. There's lots of free food, everyone's on their best behaviour and you're always guaranteed one single woman in need of comfort.

  Ben Harper : Alfie, would you just pour out some drinks, please? Alright?

  Peter : Who is that guy, Ben?

  Ben Harper : Er, he's a... distant relative.

  Peter : How distant?

  Ben Harper : Narnia!

• Alfie Butts : [Looking for uncle Norris' coffin]  Which one is, Mr Harper? They're not marked.

  Ben Harper : If I know that cheapskate Norris, it'll be this one. Yeah. Yeah, he would have taken the cheapest option. No, no, no, no, no, no! He would have... he would have spent the money on himself. It'll be the... ah, this one. The expensive one. The mahogany one.

  Michael Harper : Dad, this isn't Deal Or No Deal! Just pick a box!

• Alfie Butts : Oh! I think I found your uncle Norris!

  Michael Harper : How do you know? You've never met him.

  Alfie Butts : I have a spiritual connection with the deceased... plus, he's wearing your suit.

• Alfie Butts : I was hoping for a moment with Norris myself.

  Ben Harper : What? You're not even his relative, you twazzock!

  Alfie Butts : I know, but after wearing his swimming trunks, I feel a little bit of him rubbed off on me!