My Family (TV Series)
Bringing Up Janey (2009)
Gabriel Thomson: Michael Harper
Quotes
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MI5 Officer : I have to say in the 15 years I've been carrying out these interviews for MI5, I have never come across a family like yours.
Michael Harper : [pause] They're... they're unique.
MI5 Officer : Anyway, I'm pleased to say that a starting position in the computer and network specialist division will be available to you when you've finished your studies - should you want it.
Michael Harper : I don't understand. You've met my family?
MI5 Officer : Exactly. It's a miracle you haven't cracked up yet! You've clearly been under torture for years.
[Shakes his hand]
MI5 Officer : Welcome to MI5.
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Michael Harper : Oh, great! You're all here! Listen, I have a big announcement to make!
Janey Harper : You've hit puberty?
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Michael Harper : MI5 have approached me to apply for a job!
Susan Harper : Oh, my God, darling! I'm so proud of you!
Ben Harper : Mikey! Mikey! You're going to be a spy?
Michael Harper : It's just one possibility.
Ben Harper : Have they not seen you ride a bicycle?
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Michael Harper : The bad news is I probably won't get the job.
Susan Harper : Why?
Michael Harper : Because I've had to put the family down as referees, and they'll want to interview you. They're going to judge me based on what you say.
Janey Harper : Oh, Michael, that's awful!
Ben Harper : No, it's not awful! It's what... I'll tell you what, Mikey - don't worry! I'll put in a good word for you, mate!
Susan Harper : You've got nothing to worry about, Michael. We'll sit them down, have an honest conversation...
Ben Harper : Absolutely!
Susan Harper : ...and we'll just be our normal selves.
[Sprays Ben with a bottle]
Michael Harper : I'm so screwed!
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Susan Harper : What were you doing in James Garrett's hotel room?
Janey Harper : You know, dad was there, too!
Susan Harper : What the hell were you doing there?
Ben Harper : I was looking for you!
Susan Harper : You were looking for me?
Ben Harper : Yeah! I was looking for you and then I found her!
Michael Harper : I'll come back later.
Susan Harper : Why were you looking for me?
Ben Harper : That's the question I keep asking myself!
Susan Harper : And now it's the question I'm asking you!
Ben Harper : And the funny thing is, you know how you wanted a new bathrobe? Well, I got you one!
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Janey Harper : Is it... Faliraki?
Michael Harper : No, Athens.
Janey Harper : Oh, Athens! Athens, Athens, Athens... OK, give me another one.
Michael Harper : What's the capital of Spain?
Janey Harper : [Thinks] Ibiza?
Michael Harper : Do you only know places where you flashed a barman?
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Janey Harper : Maybe being with James makes me want to expand my mind.
Michael Harper : Finding it would be a start.