Bob Hearts Abishola (TV Series)

Welcome to Lagos (2021)

Barry Shabaka Henley: Tunde

Quotes 

• Tunde : Bob, did you perhaps pack a scarf or a concealing hat you could wear?

  Bob : Uncle, it's 105 degrees in here. It's taking all my willpower to keep pants on.

  Olu : It is too late. He has already caught the eye of the guard.

  Bob : Because I'm not wearing a scarf?

  Tunde : Because you are the only white person here.

  Bob : They're profiling me. Well, I guess it's only fair I get a taste of it for once.

  Tunde : Oh, no, your white privilege is still accepted here in Nigeria.

  Olu : Like a Platinum Card.

• Tunde : I cannot believe you! Nigerians never pay the airport bribe.

  Bob : You didn't pay it, I did.

  Tunde : But I was with you. Now I am a sucker by proxy.

• Bob : Where's Auntie?

  Abishola : Getting transportation for her and Uncle.

  Bob : Wait, we aren't going together?

  Tunde : Uh, we have to stop and pick up gifts for our relatives.

  Bob : Didn't you send Dele with, like, four suitcases worth of stuff?

  Tunde : Yes, but if a child brought four, imagine what is expected of us.

• Olu : Did you get everything?

  Tunde : [sadly]  Yes. At the prices I wanted.

  Olu : Then what is wrong?

  Tunde : Nobody would play with me. They would just pull up the price on Amazon to show me the deal I was getting. I know the deal I was getting!

  Olu : It is not the same market it was 20 years ago.

  Tunde : What is the world coming to when no one will argue over the price of a refurbished Sony Discman?

• Bob : Ooh, steamy, huh?

  Tunde : it is Africa, Bob.

  Bob : So, what's the plan? Settle in, shower, get Dele? Take another shower?

  Abishola : We are going straight to Dele.

  Bob : Whew. Just trying to do you a favor, but okay.