- Ofcr. John Cooper: Ma'am? Is everything OK?
- Mother: [to her small daughter] Seeee? You dialed 911 and these nice men came to help us. That's how it works; if you ever have a problem or anything bad happens to you or mommy, you just dial 911.
- Ofcr. John Cooper: So let me get this straight: you just dialed 911 so you could teach your daughter how to use ut?
- Mother: Of course; how else is she going to learn?
- Ofcr. John Cooper: Well, no offense, ma'am... but you have your head up your friggin' ass.
- [Cooper and Sherman pull up to kid holding up a sign reading "Radar Up Ahead - Slow Down"]
- Kid with Sign: It's not illegal; my dad's a lawyer.
- Ofcr. John Cooper: Why you doin' this?
- Kid with Sign: It's for the money, man.
- Ofcr. John Cooper: The money?
- [the kid holds up a jar filled with tips]
- Ofcr. John Cooper: [both officers laugh] There's not even any radar up there!
- Kid with Sign: *They* don't know that.
- Ofcr. John Cooper: [laughing as Sherman hands the kid a dollar] Man... that's classic.
- Det. Sammy Bryant: [referring to Nate's wife] You a cop when you met her?
- Det. Nate Moretta: Nah, I was a private.
- Det. Sammy Bryant: ...I was a stoner when I met Tammi.
- Det. Nate Moretta: [laughing] What, are you serious?
- Det. Sammy Bryant: Stoned all through high school.
- Det. Nate Moretta: Wow.
- Det. Sammy Bryant: Just hangin' with my...
- Det. Nate Moretta: Was Tammi part of that group?
- Det. Sammy Bryant: My wife is not a group person; she doesn't get the team mentality.
- Det. Nate Moretta: ...It's her loss.
- Det. Sammy Bryant: [after a few seconds] You ever smoked weed?
- Det. Nate Moretta: ...No.
- Det. Sammy Bryant: [after considering this for several seconds] ... Yeah, I didn't think so.
- Det. Daniel Salinger: House right there?
- Kenny No-Gun: Yeah?
- Det. Daniel Salinger: Belongs to Miss Sally Hightower - 90 years young, outlived all her relatives. Told me the secret to a long life was prayer and a good rocking chair.
- Kenny No-Gun: Problem?
- Det. Daniel Salinger: [noting the empty porch] Yeah; she's almost always in it.