- Gary: [M.O.D.O.K. has initiated his Self Destruct Mode] M.O.D.O.K., no! Don't kill yourself.
- M.O.D.O.K.: Living is for married men, Gary!
- Lou Tarleton: [after pushing a grand piano into the pool] Take that, piano! Rock 'n roll music is what's cool. Oh no, Billy Joel, what have I done?
- Wonder Man: [to Jodie] You know, I always... wondered, trademark, how you could've been married to a super villain, but now I get it. You're just like M.O.D.O.K. Maybe worse.
- Wonder Man: Jodie, get back. Your husband was been bitten by a raccoon and has rabies.
- M.O.D.O.K.: Wrong. I ate baking soda. And if I did have rabies, it would not be from a raccoon, it would be from the many rats that I live with in my apartment. Good night!
- Brandi: Jodie, you're not oinking with me. Is there something wrong, pig?
- Jodie Tarleton: I don't like it when you call me "pig".
- Brandi: Calling women "bitches" is derogatory. That's why I said "pig", Jodie. They're smart, they solve puzzles.
- Jon-Jon: And who gave you permission to have such a big, gorgeous face?
- M.O.D.O.K.: M.O.D.O.K. seeks permission from no one.
- Jon-Jon: I love how tedious you are.