- Fitzy: Karen's brought it to my attention that you've been telling blond jokes in the workplace.
- [Davis stares back]
- Fitzy: Did you tell the one about the blond and the ice cream cone?
- Karen Pelly: Fitzy!
- Fitzy: Well, if I'm gonna send him to a sensitivity course I have to know what it's for!
- Davis Quinton: Sensitivity course? It was just a couple of blond jokes!
- Fitzy: I know, but once someone registers a formal complaint then I have to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
- Karen Pelly: [sarcastically] Thanks for your support, Fitzy.
- Fitzy: You bet!
- Karen Pelly: [to Davis] Enjoy your sensitivity course! Oh, and bring me back something warm and fuzzy.
- Lacey Burrows: Hey guys, can I take your order?
- Davis Quinton: Well first of all, Officer Pelly is not a "guy". She's what I like to call, a human being. Secondly, taking an order... Sounds rather aggressive. Can we call it something like... a request or... a gentle reminder?
- Karen Pelly: Oh my God.
- Lacey Burrows: All right. Here's a gentle reminder, if you don't order something, you have to leave.
- Karen Pelly: We'll just get two coffees to go. Black.
- Davis Quinton: African-American.
- [Davis and Karen are at the Ruby again, after Davis' sensitivity training is complete]
- Oscar Leroy: [entering] Davis!
- Davis Quinton: Oh hello, respected elder!
- Oscar Leroy: ...That's a good one! I got some new jokes for you. Why did the two blondes cross the road?
- Davis Quinton: To get to the university to complete their PhDs?
- Oscar Leroy: What the hell happened to him?
- Karen Pelly: He's just... sensitive to other people's needs now.
- Oscar Leroy: Well, what about my needs? To make fun of people!
- Hank Yarbo: [entering] Hey Lacey, how much would it cost to buy everyone here a coffee?
- Lacey Burrows: Probably about fifteen dollars?
- Hank Yarbo: Oh man, celebratin' is expensive!
- Brent Leroy: Wasn't always that way. I remember when you could celebrate with a truckload of dynamite and a bottle of whiskey and all it'd cost ya was a buck!... Sorry, I was having coffee with a couple of old guys earlier. What are you celebrating?
- Hank Yarbo: As of today, my string of bad luck is over. Seven years ago today I broke a mirror! I'll never forget that day...
- [flashback, Hank is driving a truck full of mirrors. Another truck, full of rocks, drives quickly towards him. Then immediately cutting back to the Ruby]
- Lacey Burrows: I think we can all guess how this ends.
- Hank Yarbo: Oh no, you can't. All I can say is, thank God for that marshmallow truck.
- Brent Leroy: Yeah, it's strange, I was with you when you broke that mirror, and that's not how I remember it...
- [flashback to Hank and Brent in Hanks house, they work on some furniture. Hank notices a fly on the mirror beside him, after thinking for a moment he swings his hammer at the fly, smashing the mirror in the process. Then cutting back to the Ruby]
- Hank Yarbo: Fine, but tell me you didn't think my truck story was better.
- [Wanda is borrowing Emma's membership to try to get into a gym in the city]
- Wanda Dollard: Hi.
- Rec Plex Attendant: Hello.
- Wanda Dollard: [showing him the membership card] I'm a member, and I'm Emma Leroy.
- Rec Plex Attendant: Go ahead.
- Wanda Dollard: [nervously] You'll notice that I'm a little taller in this picture. That's because the camera adds five inches. But, of course, you already... go ahead! Right. I'll head on in, because I'm a member!
- Rec Plex Attendant: [as Wanda walks away] Oh, wait a minute!
- Wanda Dollard: I'm wearing flats for God's sake! I'm much taller than I look!
- Rec Plex Attendant: I just wanted to know if you'd like to enter the draw. It's free for members!
- Wanda Dollard: And I am a member! And I am Emma. You may notice that my signature has changed, a little. That's because my fingers were bitten by a horse... Oh, that's pretty good actually! Anything else you'd like me to sign?
- Rec Plex Attendant: Yes! The membership renewal forms.
- Wanda Dollard: Sure, why not? Make it an extra two or three years. This is a great facility! I love coming here!... Which way are the changing rooms?
- [first lines]
- [Davis, Karen, and Oscar are sitting at a booth in the Ruby]
- Oscar Leroy: Hey, I got a new joke for you. Why did the blonde tie a magnet to her fishing line?
- Davis Quinton: I don't know, why?
- Oscar Leroy: She was trying to catch steel-head trout!
- Davis Quinton: [laughs] Good one. Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
- Oscar Leroy: I don't know. Why?
- Davis Quinton: 'Cause they keep forgetting the recipe!
- [Davis and Oscar laugh, Karen stares at them]
- Davis Quinton: [to Karen] You don't seem to be enjoying the jokes.
- Karen Pelly: Maybe it's because I'm blonde?
- Oscar Leroy: Right... She doesn't get them!
- Karen Pelly: Here's one. Why did the blonde cop stiff her partner for the lunch bill?
- Davis Quinton: I don't know, why?
- [Karen gets up and leaves without saying another word]
- Oscar Leroy: That wasn't a very funny joke.
- Davis Quinton: Still, not bad for a blonde.
- [after "Emma" wins the draw at the gym, Wanda has to continue to pretend to be her when they drop off the prize at Oscar and Emma's house]
- Photographer: Okay. Let's get the happy couple over there next to the TV. Come on, little bit closer... Little closer... Little...
- Oscar Leroy: Just take the damn picture!
- Photographer: Okay, here we go. Smile, and you're happy, maybe give her a little kiss or something?
- Wanda Dollard: Oh no, it's not that type of marriage where there's... touching or anything.
- Photographer: At least put your arm around her?
- Oscar Leroy: Fine, you sicko.
- Davis Quinton: Sorry I'm late, I was helping a mentally challenged person get out of his truck.
- Karen Pelly: Hank?
- Davis Quinton: I prefer the term "mentally challenged".
- [when Davis' sensitivity training works too well, Oscar and Karen come up with a plan to "desensinate" him. The three of them are in the police station, Davis is hooked up to a polygraph test]
- Oscar Leroy: Okay, I'm gonna ask you some questions. Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? It said "concentrate"! Heh, heh... You find that funny?
- Davis Quinton: No.
- Oscar Leroy: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Heh, heh, heh... There's white-out on the screen! You find that funny?
- Davis Quinton: No.
- Karen Pelly: That's because they're not funny, they're stupid jokes!
- Oscar Leroy: Here, you do this one.
- Karen Pelly: [reading] How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Turn over.
- Karen Pelly: [she turns the paper over] How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Turn over... . How do you keep a blonde busy... Okay, I don't get this!
- [Davis snorts]
- Oscar Leroy: He snorted! Do you find that funny?
- Davis Quinton: No!
- [the polygraph tests responds to his answer]
- Oscar Leroy: [to Karen] Here, read him another one!
- Karen Pelly: What do you see if you look into a blonde's eyes? The back of her head.
- [Davis laughs]
- Oscar Leroy: We got him! The old Davis is back!
- Karen Pelly: I still don't get the turn over joke, are we missing a page?
- [Oscar and Davis laugh at her once again]