Corner Gas (TV Series)
Super Sensitive (2009)
Lorne Cardinal: Davis Quinton
Photos
Quotes
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Fitzy : Karen's brought it to my attention that you've been telling blond jokes in the workplace.
[Davis stares back]
Fitzy : Did you tell the one about the blond and the ice cream cone?
Karen Pelly : Fitzy!
Fitzy : Well, if I'm gonna send him to a sensitivity course I have to know what it's for!
Davis Quinton : Sensitivity course? It was just a couple of blond jokes!
Fitzy : I know, but once someone registers a formal complaint then I have to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
Karen Pelly : [sarcastically] Thanks for your support, Fitzy.
Fitzy : You bet!
Karen Pelly : [to Davis] Enjoy your sensitivity course! Oh, and bring me back something warm and fuzzy.
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Lacey Burrows : Hey guys, can I take your order?
Davis Quinton : Well first of all, Officer Pelly is not a "guy". She's what I like to call, a human being. Secondly, taking an order... Sounds rather aggressive. Can we call it something like... a request or... a gentle reminder?
Karen Pelly : Oh my God.
Lacey Burrows : All right. Here's a gentle reminder, if you don't order something, you have to leave.
Karen Pelly : We'll just get two coffees to go. Black.
Davis Quinton : African-American.
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[Davis and Karen are at the Ruby again, after Davis' sensitivity training is complete]
Oscar Leroy : [entering] Davis!
Davis Quinton : Oh hello, respected elder!
Oscar Leroy : ...That's a good one! I got some new jokes for you. Why did the two blondes cross the road?
Davis Quinton : To get to the university to complete their PhDs?
Oscar Leroy : What the hell happened to him?
Karen Pelly : He's just... sensitive to other people's needs now.
Oscar Leroy : Well, what about my needs? To make fun of people!
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[first lines]
[Davis, Karen, and Oscar are sitting at a booth in the Ruby]
Oscar Leroy : Hey, I got a new joke for you. Why did the blonde tie a magnet to her fishing line?
Davis Quinton : I don't know, why?
Oscar Leroy : She was trying to catch steel-head trout!
Davis Quinton : [laughs] Good one. Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
Oscar Leroy : I don't know. Why?
Davis Quinton : 'Cause they keep forgetting the recipe!
[Davis and Oscar laugh, Karen stares at them]
Davis Quinton : [to Karen] You don't seem to be enjoying the jokes.
Karen Pelly : Maybe it's because I'm blonde?
Oscar Leroy : Right... She doesn't get them!
Karen Pelly : Here's one. Why did the blonde cop stiff her partner for the lunch bill?
Davis Quinton : I don't know, why?
[Karen gets up and leaves without saying another word]
Oscar Leroy : That wasn't a very funny joke.
Davis Quinton : Still, not bad for a blonde.
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Davis Quinton : Sorry I'm late, I was helping a mentally challenged person get out of his truck.
Karen Pelly : Hank?
Davis Quinton : I prefer the term "mentally challenged".
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[when Davis' sensitivity training works too well, Oscar and Karen come up with a plan to "desensinate" him. The three of them are in the police station, Davis is hooked up to a polygraph test]
Oscar Leroy : Okay, I'm gonna ask you some questions. Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice? It said "concentrate"! Heh, heh... You find that funny?
Davis Quinton : No.
Oscar Leroy : How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Heh, heh, heh... There's white-out on the screen! You find that funny?
Davis Quinton : No.
Karen Pelly : That's because they're not funny, they're stupid jokes!
Oscar Leroy : Here, you do this one.
Karen Pelly : [reading] How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Turn over.
Karen Pelly : [she turns the paper over] How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Turn over... . How do you keep a blonde busy... Okay, I don't get this!
[Davis snorts]
Oscar Leroy : He snorted! Do you find that funny?
Davis Quinton : No!
[the polygraph tests responds to his answer]
Oscar Leroy : [to Karen] Here, read him another one!
Karen Pelly : What do you see if you look into a blonde's eyes? The back of her head.
[Davis laughs]
Oscar Leroy : We got him! The old Davis is back!
Karen Pelly : I still don't get the turn over joke, are we missing a page?
[Oscar and Davis laugh at her once again]