- [Brent has slipped on some cans lying on the floor of Corner Gas, spraining his ankle]
- Wanda Dollard: Look, I'm sorry you fell. And I'm sorry I kicked your ankle after you fell. I thought you were still faking it at that point.
- Brent LeRoy: Uh huh.
- Wanda Dollard: And I'm sorry I made you walk all the way to the car. And I'm sorry I tickled you while they were putting on the leg brace.
- Brent LeRoy: Wouldn't you have figured it out at that point?
- Wanda Dollard: That is when I figured it out. It seemed pretty elaborate with all the doctors and nurses.
- Brent LeRoy: And the swelling and the X rays and the screaming and the sedative?
- Karen Pelly: [to Brent] I almost slipped on those cans.
- Brent LeRoy: Wanda!
- Wanda Dollard: I already yelled at her!
- Emma Leroy: The cat came back!
- Oscar Leroy: I thought he was a goner?
- Emma Leroy: No, the cat came back!
- Karen Pelly: Ah, he just couldn't stay away.
- Jug-Hank: [Brent is dreaming of being in an Archie comic strip] Jeepers! Sitting in that dunk tank sure made me hungry.
- Dilton aka Moose: Take it easy on those burgers, Jug-Hank.
- Betonica: Hey gang. Great news! We made enough money to have Dog River Days next month.
- Brenchie: But Betonica, we already had Dog River Days!
- Betonica: Oh, Brenchie. That wasn't Dog River Days. That was just a parking lot fair.
- Widge: I'm all faired out!
- Dilton aka Moose: You said it, Widge.
- Widge: Right on, Dilton.
- Dilton aka Moose: [firmly] Moose!
- Jug-Hank: Jeepers! What are we going to do with all that extra money we raised?
- Betonica: Let's throw a dance!
- Widge: Can we hire a band?
- Brenchie: How about Craig Northey from the rock and roll group The Odds?
- Craig Northey: Gee, that's swell! The guys and me were looking for a place to practice anyway.
- [everyone dances to an bubblegum-pop version of 'Happy Place']
- Karen Pelly: [flipping through a fashion magazine at Corner Gas] Oh, she's got nice hair!... Ooh, she's got real nice hair!... Ooh!
- Wanda Dollard: Okay, are you going to buy that magazine or are you just going to make Merv Griffin noises all day?
- Oscar Leroy: [about a stray cat in Emma's garden] Why don't you catch it?
- Emma Leroy: I'm allergic to cats.
- Oscar Leroy: Still? All right, I'll take care of it. I'll need a rope, a burlap sack and some rocks.
- Emma Leroy: Don't kill it!
- Oscar Leroy: How'd you know I was going to kill it?
- Emma Leroy: Lucky guess. Just catch it.
- Oscar Leroy: So you want me to catch it but keep it alive?
- Emma Leroy: Yes.
- Oscar Leroy: A cat?
- Emma Leroy: Yes!
- Oscar Leroy: All right. I'll need some string, a box and cat poison.
- Lacey Burrows: [to Davis and Hank] We have to raise money so that we can save Dog River Days.
- Hank Yarbo: I got it. I propose a dunk tank.
- Lacey Burrows: I don't think that...
- Davis Quinton: Second.
- Hank Yarbo: All in favour?
- [Hank and Davis raise their hands]
- Hank Yarbo: Motion carried.
- Davis Quinton: Move to adjourn.
- Hank Yarbo: Second.
- [Hank and Davis raise their hands]
- Davis Quinton: Motion carried.
- Lacey Burrows: [as they leave] I...
- [Oscar is secretly feeding the stray cat he caught]
- Emma Leroy: What's this?
- Oscar Leroy: It's a piece of paper. So what?
- Emma Leroy: It's a receipt for cat food. Why are you buying cat food?
- Oscar Leroy: Because I'm a senior! Isn't that what we're supposed to do?
- Emma Leroy: You can do better than that!
- Oscar Leroy: All right. The truth is Brent likes to eat cat food and he's not feeling well, so I thought I'd treat him... That makes sense, right?
- Wanda Dollard: [after Brent actually hurts his leg] Anyway, I've been thinking, since you really are injured and there is a lot of work to do around here and I am partly responsible for this that, well, maybe I should...
- [she looks out the window]
- Wanda Dollard: Bouncy castle!
- [she runs out]
- Davis Quinton: You find me annoying, right?
- Brent LeRoy: I do.
- Davis Quinton: Thank you. As annoying as Hank?
- Brent LeRoy: Ooh... That's pretty ambitious.
- Hank Yarbo: [entering, soaking wet] Hey guys. Just getting some water. When you're in the dunk tank as long as I am, it's important to stay hydrated.
- Hank Yarbo: [handing Brent a wet five dollar bill] Here you go buddy, keep the change.
- Brent LeRoy: As you can see, he's kind of a natural.
- Wanda Dollard: Hank's in the dunk tank?
- Lacey Burrows: Yep, it's a buck a ball.
- Wanda Dollard: Here's a fifty.
- Hank Yarbo: Hey everybody! Remember when I took up the drums and would only practice at night? How about when I decided to start raising ferrets and they all escaped?
- [first lines]
- [Davis and Hank are sitting at a booth in the Ruby, Hank reads an Archie comic book]
- Hank Yarbo: I don't know about these new Archie comics... Jughead's eating veggie burgers to lower his cholesterol.
- Lacey Burrows: You know, you kind of remind me of Jughead.
- Hank Yarbo: I'm nothing like Jughead! Well, I wouldn't wear that crown thing he's wearing.
- Davis Quinton: Who would I be? Big Moose?
- Hank Yarbo: Dilton Doiley. And Lacey would be Pops because she runs the soda shop!
- Lacey Burrows: Hardly! Come on, I'm like a combination of Veronica's uptown sophistication and Betty's down home goodness.
- Hank Yarbo: So, you'd be like... Betonica! That'd be hot! And who would Brent be?
- Davis Quinton: Potsie!
- Lacey Burrows: That's Happy Days.
- Hank Yarbo: Yeah. It's a completely different comic book.