Bikini Pickups
- Video
- 2008
- 2h 17m
YOUR RATING
Storyline
Featured review
Raises the burning question; is that James Avalon's dick?
By far the worst James Avalon picture I've ever seen, "Bikini Pickups" is signed by Stony O'Neil, who also handles the camera and in imitation of those lame British pictures from Omar Williams & his trusty cameraman Burt, the cameraman's dick gets sucked from time to time. Since famed Adult auteur James Avalon used the moniker "Stony O'Neil" to direct this junker one wonders if it's the great man's dick we see in those pov fellatio shots.
Yet another cheapie emulating the wave of popularity of Reality-TV, "Pickups" consists of five tiresome segments of a porn stud trolling the beaches to find some naive babe sunbathing and talk her into being photographed for his website. Avalon's regular editor Henry Charles Farmer is also credited for "Film EFX", which translates to intentionally degraded shots thrown in pointlessly a la that stinker "Grindhouse", namely adding fake scratches and aging to some visuals. NOTE: My local Chelsea theater posted a prominent sign outside warning viewers of this dubious technique while "Grindhouse" was unspooling inside.
Some wonderful stars like Ann Marie Rios and Lindsey Meadows pretend to be amateurs for this one, but it adds up to dead footage in search of a gullible audience. Why Avalon stooped this low to make a buck (perhaps the most common industry excuse of alimony payments coming due is the answer) is beside the point - it damages his rep for sure.
Yet another cheapie emulating the wave of popularity of Reality-TV, "Pickups" consists of five tiresome segments of a porn stud trolling the beaches to find some naive babe sunbathing and talk her into being photographed for his website. Avalon's regular editor Henry Charles Farmer is also credited for "Film EFX", which translates to intentionally degraded shots thrown in pointlessly a la that stinker "Grindhouse", namely adding fake scratches and aging to some visuals. NOTE: My local Chelsea theater posted a prominent sign outside warning viewers of this dubious technique while "Grindhouse" was unspooling inside.
Some wonderful stars like Ann Marie Rios and Lindsey Meadows pretend to be amateurs for this one, but it adds up to dead footage in search of a gullible audience. Why Avalon stooped this low to make a buck (perhaps the most common industry excuse of alimony payments coming due is the answer) is beside the point - it damages his rep for sure.
helpful•00
- lor_
- Feb 3, 2017
Details
- Runtime2 hours 17 minutes
- Color
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