- Brian Harper: You know, Eileen, there's one thing that I don't understand. You're always telling me how close you are to your mother.
- Eileen Swift: So what don't you understand?
- Brian Harper: You don't seem to get along with her at all!
- Eileen Swift: Brian, I'm close to her, I just don't like to be NEAR her. She's pushy, she's rude, she's self-centered. It's a wonder I turned out the way I did!
- Ross Harper: I was just listening to the new Prince album. It really makes you think.
- Brian Harper: It does? About WHAT?
- Ross Harper: Well, he's got such a great career. I mean, I wonder how he decided what he was gonna do with his life. You know, was it a gradual thing or did he just wake up one morning and say, "Hey, do you know what I'd be good at? Getting up on stage and playing a guitar in my purple underwear."
- Brian Harper: I imagine it was a gradual thing with him, Ross. I'm sure he started out fully clothed and gradually worked his way down.