The Telling (2009) (V)

User Rating:

3.4/10   

Director:

Nicholas Carpenter

Writer:

Joe Lessard (writer)

Genre:

Horror

Tagline:

"Perfection without Exception"

Plot:

In this horror anthology film, three girls pledge the most popular - and cruelest - sorority on campus...

Plot Keywords:

Sorority | Undead | Pledge | Actress | Murder

Cast

Holly Madison	...	Stephanie
Christina Rosenberg	...	Amber (as Lola La Belle)
Nicole Zeoli	...	Roxy
Najarra Townsend	...	Brianna
Angela Nicholas	...	Brianna's Mom
Wesley Stiller	...	Greg
Alyssa Price	...	Megan
Sara Jean Underwood	...	Tracey
Christina Iannuzzi	...	Brittney
Jessica Rizo	...	Tiffany
Ashley Noel	...	Brandi
Jean Louise O'Sullivan	...	Haley (as Jean-Louise O'Sullivan)
Stephanie Sanborn	...	Phoebe
Jessica Noboa	...	Tonya
Rebekah Kochan	...	Lily

MPAA:

Rated R for language, violence and some nudity.

Runtime:

84 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Colour:

Colour (High Definition)

Aspect Ratio:

1.78 : 1

Certification:

USA:R

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Company:

Breakout Entertainment

Movie Connections:

Referenced in "The Girls Next Door: Scream Test (#5.3)" (2008)

Soundtrack:

You're Not One Of Them

Retelling a cliché

I did not have very high hopes for this film. A horror movie from the Playboy mansion? I think most people probably suspect that Playboy bunnies do not make great actresses, and indeed they do not. They are great at posing and pouting, but pretending to laugh, is sadly beyond their reach (though this might be due to having been pawed at by a 127 year old Hugh Hefner, as that would stop most people from even cracking a smile).

So if you disregard the acting, which ranges from poor to abysmal, you will have heard the stories again and again since childhood. In fact, most Halloween specials have told these stories, and often told them better. So here goes: To gain membership in a Sorority populated by plastic women in their late 20ies and early (?) 30ies (who, at least at one point, are amusingly Borg-like), three pledges must tell a scary story each. Seem familiar yet?

The first story involves an evil doll, the second a creepy castle in Transsylvania and in the third, three babysitters (ok, they're not actually babysitters, but they might as well be to make the cliché complete) get creepy phone calls.

This is far from the worst film I've seen (that honour still belongs to Unearthed), and sadly, it is not so-bad-it's-good either. Overall, I think it deserves a 3/10, because it did manage to hold my attention till the end and because it did give me a chuckle or two. However, it must be said, it is not even remotely scary. Nor is it sexy. Apparently, there is 1 blink-and-you'll-miss-it topless scene, but I blinked, so I missed it.