I, Claudius (TV Mini Series)

Waiting in the Wings (1976)

George Baker: Tiberius

Quotes 

• Drusus : A man should keep himself clean, not have slaves do it.

  Tiberius : And how's he supposed to scrape his own back?

  Drusus : He gets his brother to do it.

  Tiberius : If he hasn't got a brother?

  Drusus : He gets his son.

  Tiberius : If he hasn't got a son?

  Drusus : Gets his friend.

  Tiberius : And if he hasn't got a friend?

  Drusus : Then he should go and hang himself.

  Tiberius : I've tried it. Better to have a slave scrape your back.

• [of his mother Livia] 

  Tiberius : They say a snake bit her once. And died.

• Tiberius : Let me go, you fat drunken cow!

  Julia : Fat? Fat? If I'm fat, I'm fat where a woman should be fat, not skinny like a boy!