Rugrats (TV Series)

Real or Robots? / Special Delivery (1991)

Jack Riley: Stu Pickles

Quotes 

• Stu Pickles : [Puts Tommy down after mail arrives]  Look out, Champ. I gotta talk to the mailman.

  [Opes door] 

  Stu Pickles : Well, where is she?

  Mailman : Who?

  Stu Pickles : Tina Trousers!

  Mailman : What do I look like, a department of missing persons?

  Stu Pickles : No, no, Tina Trousers is a doll.

  Mailman : Hey mister, I don't care what she looks like.

  Stu Pickles : No I mean a toy doll. She was supposed to come in the mail today.

  Mailman : Oh yeah, you got a package but it was too big to carry so you have to go pick it up at the post store.

  Stu Pickles : What? I haven't got time to go wait at the post office!

• Stu Pickles : Hey Didi, the new Eggbert catalog's here!

  [Walks in the kitchen] 

  Didi Pickles : That's nice, dear!

  Stu Pickles : Wonder what's new. Oh no! I can't believe it, Didi. This is the worst thing that could possibly happen.

  Didi Pickles : What's wrong, Stu?

  Stu Pickles : It's these Eggbert people, Didi. They put me in a punch.

  Didi Pickles : What do you mean?

  Stu Pickles : [Shows a Tina Trousers doll advertisement page]  Look! It talks, it walks, and it wets. Worst of all, it even gets diaper rash.

  Didi Pickles : So?

  Stu Pickles : My Patty Pants doll is at least 6 months away from realistic diaper rash. And this one's available for an immediate delivery. I'm ruined!

  Didi Pickles : Oh Stu, you're just overreacting.

• Postal Worker : Next!

  Stu Pickles : Right here!

  Postal Worker : You don't have to yell, sir.

  Stu Pickles : You got a special delivery for Stu Pickles. It's a package from the Eggbert toy company.

  Postal Worker : And?

  Stu Pickles : And I'd like to pick it up to have it for Christmas.

  Postal Worker : No need to be rude, sir.

• Stu Pickles : [Tommy places his fingers in Stu's nostrils, making Stu wake up choking as being unable to breath in his sleep]  Tommy!

  [Puts Tommy and Chuckie back in the crib] 

• [Tommy and Chuckie shudder in the crib and pretend to be asleep as Stu and Didi enter the bedroom] 

  Stu Pickles : They look so cute and innocent when they're sleeping.

  Didi Pickles : Don't they just?

  Stu Pickles : [removes Chuckie's glasses]  You know, this might sound crazy, but... I dreamt that Tommy and Chuckie kept coming into our bedroom and trying to... open my chest with a plastic screwdriver.

  Didi Pickles : Come on!

  Stu Pickles : Yeah! Like I was some kind of robot or something.

  Didi Pickles : Oh, my goodness, how silly!

  [Tommy opens his eyes] 

  Didi Pickles : Tommy loves you. He wouldn't do that.

  Stu Pickles : Yeah, you're right. It was just probably some crazy dream.

  [Tommy smiles] 

  Stu Pickles : You know, Deed, we're lucky to have such a great kid.

  [they leave the bedroom] 

  Didi Pickles : Like father, like son.

  Stu Pickles : Oh, Deed.

  [closes the door; Tommy turns to Chuckie] 

  Tommy Pickles : I guess you were right, Chuckie. My dad isn't a robot after all.

  Chuckie Finster : Yeah.

  [closes his eyes, opens them again and sits up straight] 

  Chuckie Finster : But what about *my* dad?

  [they stare out the window into the dark, stormy night]