- Oscar Leroy: Trees are like magnets for booze.
- Brent LeRoy: Do you even care about making sense any more?
- Oscar Leroy: Who the hell do you think you are?
- Brent LeRoy: I like when you start a conversation just by yelling - no lead-up, right into it. Valuable time saver.
- Oscar Leroy: I was walking downtown and what did I see? But 'Brent Leroy's Corner Gas Tree!'
- Brent LeRoy: So you wrote a poem about it?
- Oscar Leroy: That just rhymed by accident. And where do you get off...
- Brent LeRoy: - The tree is just a donation thing, for tax purposes. Plus, it makes a nice legacy.
- Oscar Leroy: What about me? I founded this place, and you're trying to wipe me out of the picture with one lousy tree!
- Brent LeRoy: I wasn't trying to wipe you out. I mean, there are some memories I'd like to forget.
- Oscar Leroy: I built this place, from the ground up! And this is the thanks I get. Well, I'll show you a legacy you won't soon forget!
- Brent LeRoy: I think that's actually the definition of legacy.
- Oscar Leroy: Smart guy!
- [stomps off]
- Brent LeRoy: Lunatic, that's your legacy.
- Brent LeRoy: At least with my tree the kids keep their pants on. Probably gonna be a population boom because of your sex bench.
- Oscar Leroy: It's not a sex bench! It's a make-out bench. And it's not a make-out bench!