Corner Gas (TV Series)

Contagious Fortune (2008)

Brent Butt: Brent Leroy

Quotes 

• [Hank enters Corner Gas wearing sunglasses] 

  Wanda Dollard : Ladies and gentlemen: Ray Charles.

  Hank Yarbo : Where?

  Brent Leroy : Don't play any of your crazy boogie woogie music in here, Mr. Cool.

  Hank Yarbo : I'm not wearing these to be cool. There's something wrong with my eye, all puffy and itchy. It hurts to look at the sun. I think it might be time to get glasses.

  Wanda Dollard : Looks like you have conjunctivitis.

  Hank Yarbo : What? Oh, man! How long have I got?

  Wanda Dollard : I wish. It's just pinkeye.

  Brent Leroy : Just pinkeye? That's like saying it's just... just... all right, it's just pinkeye, but still, Hank, get out!

• [Hank and Brent kick Wanda, who has caught pinkeye from Hank, out of Corner Gas] 

  Hank Yarbo : Maybe I was too tough on her. I too was once like her.

  Brent Leroy : Short and angry?

  Wanda Dollard : [yelling from outside]  Hey, Yarbo! I'm coming back for you!

  [she points at her pinkeye] 

  Wanda Dollard : You made me like this! I'll be back... for *YOU*!

  Brent Leroy : Short and creepy?

• Wanda Dollard : [to Brent, who is cleaning Corner Gas]  You missed a spot.

  Brent Leroy : How'd you get in here?

  Wanda Dollard : Through the Ruby. Duh!

  Brent Leroy : Hank! Wanda's breached the perimeter!

  Hank Yarbo : What? How?

  Brent Leroy : Through the Ruby. Duh!

  [Lacey enters from the Ruby Café] 

  Lacey Burrows : Sorry! She got past me!

  Wanda Dollard : That's right! I said I'd be back! You can't stop my pinkeye revenge!

  [she spreads her pinkeye germs over the Corner Gas counter] 

  Wanda Dollard : Go, my pets! Spread your pink path as I have commanded you!

  Brent Leroy : Yeesh. A little dramatic.

  Wanda Dollard : Oh, and "breached the perimeter's" your everyday lingo?

• [Brent lies about swimming in Moose Jaw to explain his pink-coloured eye] 

  Hank Yarbo : You went all the way to Moose Jaw just to swim? I wish *I* was that motivated.

  Wanda Dollard : [to Brent]  Yeah, right! Motivated to spread your filthy, disgusting eye goo!

  [to Hank] 

  Wanda Dollard : He's got pink eye!

  Hank Yarbo : [to Brent]  Really? Didn't the chlorine help out with your pink eye?

  [Wanda grabs the broom and forces Brent out of Corner Gas] 

  Wanda Dollard : GET OUT, YOU CONTAGIOUS *FREAK*!

  Brent Leroy : *ME!* You were spreading your plague all over the place! I probably *got this* from you!

  Wanda Dollard : YOU'RE *WELCOME*!

• [Brent has successfully driven Wanda and Hank out of Corner Gas] 

  Brent Leroy : [boastful]  I claim this gas station in the name of PINK EYE!

  Wanda Dollard : [to Brent]  Okay. Well, the fridge needs to be re-stocked and the toilet's busted.

  Hank Yarbo : [to Wanda]  Wanna go get a beer?

  Wanda Dollard : [to Hank]  Sure.

  Brent Leroy : [after Hank and Wanda leave]  Didn't really think that one through.

• [Wanda, who has pinkeye, has been driven out of Corner Gas for a second time] 

  Brent Leroy : And STAY OUT!

  Wanda Dollard : Oh, this isn't over. We'll be back.

  Hank Yarbo : We?

  Wanda Dollard : Me... AND MY *PINK EYE*!