- Commander Adam: You could be looking at thirty years.
- Chode: Hey, I-I-I'm entitled to a phone call.
- Commander Adam: You had one yesterday, remember? Too bad you blew it on phone sex.
- Sue Anne: This may sound weird, but I've been without, eh, male companionship for so long, even that disgusting fat purple one is beginning to look good.
- Danielle: I hear you, sister, my dear old hubbie spends so much time working, I'm ready to date a banana.
- Danielle: Chance, I was wondering, have you seen my pussy?
- Chode: [posing as Chance] No, but the night is still young.