Stephen Root: Chode

Quotes 

• Commander Adam : You could be looking at thirty years.

  Chode : Hey, I-I-I'm entitled to a phone call.

  Commander Adam : You had one yesterday, remember? Too bad you blew it on phone sex.

• Danielle : Chance, I was wondering, have you seen my pussy?

  Chode : [posing as Chance]  No, but the night is still young.

• Sue Anne : Can I get you guys a drink?

  Chode : [posing as Chance]  Tie me to the bedpost!

  Sue Anne : That's wodka, rum, melon liqueur and sour mix, right?

  Chode : No, tie me to the bedpost, really.