- Emerson Cod: Allow me to put this to you delicately. You see, men are dogs! They come, you know, sniffing around, barking up your tree, but if they don't see a kitty cat up in that tree, pretty soon they just stop barking.
- Emerson Cod: Listen, we're all professionals, people. This doesn't have to get ugly.
- Nils Nilsen: Your shirt suggests otherwise.
- Vivian Charles: Mr. Cod, I'm here against my better judgment considering the callous braggadocio with which you previously gave me the heave-ho.
- Emerson Cod: Well, if I did do any ho-heavin' it was for your own good. There's a time for callous braggadocio and a time for sensitivity. To the Norwegians, that time is never.
- Vivian Charles: I suppose it's a holdover from their Viking ancestry. It would be difficult to rape and pillage with the subtlety of a humanist.
- Nils Nilsen: You and Dwight hobnobbed in the same circles!
- Emerson Cod: The hell I did. We didn't nob no hobs. And certainly not in no damn circle.
- Olive Snook: Did he die of natural causes?
- Ned: [in unison with Chuck] Yes.
- Olive Snook: Are either of you referring to "murder" as a natural cause?
- Ned: We are officially non-referential starting now.
- Olive Snook: Then they beat me with a blue-and-yellow sock as they got high on ABBA and tiny little meatballs.
- Magnus Olsdatter: [in unison with Nils] Swedes.
- Hedda Lillihammer: Although ve don't vish to look a gift whore in the mouth, Mr. Cod, vhy vould you tell us everything you know?
- Olive Snook: I wouldn't turncoat on you. I was working deep cover to dismantle this operation from the inside out. I know they have dirt on you but I don't know what they did to make you look so dirty.
- Ned: I got myself dirty.
- Olive Snook: Well, allow me to soap up those hard to reach places.
- Narrator: Using the Gumshoe skills that made him great, the number one detective in Papen County took the fight to his opponent. His plan was this: asses the true nature of the threat.
- [Emerson spies on the Norwegians]
- Narrator: Two, find and exploit their weaknesses. And three...
- [Emerson spots Olive with the Norwegians]
- Olive Snook: Shut your mouth. I can't believe you think my former friends are up to no good too.
- Narrator: Oh hell no.