- Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: It's amazing how a familiar smell can wrap you in it's arms and coddle away any ugly memories between now and the last time you smelt it.
- Olive Snook: Uh, and what type of duty are you in again? Clergy? Tax services?
- Lily Charles: Dwight collects and appraises antiques, which I learned right after he told me he's dating my sister.
- Vivian Charles: Lily is naturally suspicious of new liaisons, but I felt compelled to come clean about our relationship. Sneaking around is for politicians in bathroom stalls.
- Dwight Dixon: Not for a brisk and bucolic autumn-come-winter afternoon on the park.
- Lily Charles: Look at the way he drapes himself all over her. Makes me wanna stick a fork in my eye. I need a drink.
- Olive Snook: You're holding one.
- Lily Charles: I need a stronger one. And a fork.
- Emerson Cod: Mind if we have a gander at your phone list?
- Tam Phong: What phone list?
- Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: The one you just slid into that folder.
- Tam Phong: What folder?
- Emerson Cod: There's a comfort in knowing that telemarketers are just as horrible in real life...
- Tam Phong: Shift change!
- Daniel Hill: I'm gonna find that malfeas-ass and slam him down!
- Emerson Cod: Inside voice.
- Daniel Hill: I'm not talking about the gavel of justice.
- Ned: Outside voice.
- Daniel Hill: I'm talking about southern-style back-alley score-settling doled out by me and a couple of homeless!...
- Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: Conversational patio voice?
- Olive Snook: [speaks with a foreign accent] I believe I have the right to a net worth greater than most developing countries without being hounded by sponging ne'er-do-wells and sanctimonious bleeding hearts like yourself. So, unless you stop calling, I will take a tiny fraction of my immense wealth, buy this building, knock it down, and turn it into a glue factory so big, the whole city will be smelling horse.
- Tam Phong: If you please leave your number, I'll see to it that nobody calls you again. Psych.
- Olive Snook: Did you say "psyyyych"?
- Tam Phong: No.
- Olive Snook: Good! Because I'm getting on a hovercraft bound for Saint-Tropez early this evening, and I expect it to be dealt with before I return tomorrow. Here is my card.
- [throws carelessly and hits Fong's shoulder]
- Rob Wright: [breaks into the storeroom] Fear not, madam!...
- [Chuck immediately throws a box at him, hitting the groin]
- Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: To be fair, I should tell you that I have a gun in my pocket.
- Rob Wright: To be fair, I don't really believe you.
- Charlotte 'Chuck' Charles: To be even more fair, all I have to do is scream, and a whole cadre of big strong men and sweet middle-aged ladies with shotguns will come running.
- Emerson Cod: What exactly where you porting when your boss had a close encounter with his light fixture?