Scream (I) (2022)

Jack Quaid: Richie Kirsch

Photos 

Quotes 

• Richie Kirsch : Thank God, you're okay!

  [Stabs Sam] 

  Richie Kirsch : Because I really, really wanted to be the one to kill you.

• Richie Kirsch : Because nobody takes the true fans seriously, not really. They just laugh at us, and why? Because we love something? We're just a fucking joke to them! How can fandom be toxic? It's about love! You don't fucking understand, these movies are important to people.

• Richie Kirsch : [having been stabbed multiple times] 

  [whimpering] 

  Richie Kirsch : WAIT! What about my ending?

  Sam Carpenter : Here it comes.

  [slashes his throat then fires repeatedly with a coup de grâce headshot] 

• Richie Kirsch : [struggling with Sam]  Stop! Fucking up! My! Ending!

• Richie Kirsch : Sidney Prescott. You know, I'm a really big fan.

  Sidney Prescott : Go fuck yourself.

• Richie Kirsch : Hi, uh... Do you know if there's any beer left? There's none in the kitchen.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Yes, Richie. There's beer in the basement... Right behind you. Basement. Yeah.

  Richie Kirsch : [chuckles nervously]  Do you want to, uh, come with me?

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : [laughs]  No, but you were right to ask.

  Richie Kirsch : Yeah, um... Okay, I'll be right back.

  [Richie and Mindy laugh at what he just said and point at each other] 

  Richie Kirsch : Yeah. Yeah...

  [Richie leaves for the basement] 

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Well, he's dead.

• Richie Kirsch : [trying to convince a bunch of teens to leave Amber's party]  Uh, hi. Gen Z, how are you? Um, both Sam and Tara here have been attacked by the killer twice and now they're here, which makes this place a huge murder target. So, uh... if I were you, I would probably leave.

  [someone throws a cup at his head] 

  Richie Kirsch : Okay, I tried to be nice! Get the fuck out! Please, get the fuck out! Sincerely, get the fuck out!

  [teens insult him as they start to leave] 

  Richie Kirsch : Thank you! Thank you, all! I'm saving your life, I promise. Thanks, teens. Thank you so much.

  [someone throws a cup on the floor] 

  Richie Kirsch : Great, thank you for leaving the cup, thank you.

  [still getting insulted] 

  Richie Kirsch : Saving your life, saving your life, saving your life... Thank you.

• Richie Kirsch : Holy shit, it's Ghostface!

• Sam Carpenter : You did all this just to make me the hero of your fucked up movie?

  Richie Kirsch : Sweetie, you're not the hero. You're the villain. The daughter of Billy Loomis who sees fucked up visions of her dead dad. Sidney Prescott killed your father. You did all this just to get her back to Woodsboro.

• Dewey Riley : [as Dewey is about to escape in an elevator with Sam, Tara, and Richie, he hesitates and holds the doors open]  The head.

  Richie Kirsch : What?

  Dewey Riley : You have to shoot them in the head, or they always come back.

  Sam Carpenter : Dewey! Who gives a fuck?

  Dewey Riley : [pauses, then]  I do.

• Chad Meeks-Martin : So, let me get this straight. You're saying that you're the daughter of Billy Loomis and, what, that one of us is the killer?

  Sam Carpenter : The killer said he knew my secret. He attacked Tara to lure me back here.

  Chad Meeks-Martin : But then why immediately go and murder some douche nozzle that was stalking Liv?

  Wes Hicks : Why does it have to be one of us? What about Deputy Dewey here? Maybe he's the killer.

  [to Dewey] 

  Wes Hicks : No offense.

  Dewey Riley : None taken, but what's my motive?

  Wes Hicks : You got stabbed a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife, and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say you're on the suspect list.

  Dewey Riley : Well, maybe, you're the killer... 'cause that cut deep.

  Amber Freeman : That douche nozzle is connected. I googled him, his Mom is Leslie Macher. Stu Macher's sister.

  Liv McKenzie : Who's Stu Macher?

  Dewey Riley : Oh, my god. He's Billy Loomis's accomplice, a real looney tune.

  Sam Carpenter : Okay. Okay. So, the first three attacks are all on people related to the original killers.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Oh, my God! He's making a requel!

  Sam Carpenter : A what?

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Or, uh, legacyquel. Fans are torn on the terminology.

  Chad Meeks-Martin : Please speak English.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Okay. Remember the Stab movie that came out last year?

  Liv McKenzie : Oh, yeah! The one the Knives Out guy directed, right? I, actually, really liked that one.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Of course, you did. You have terrible taste.

  Liv McKenzie : I hate you.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : The point is the hardcore Stab fans hated it. You go on 4chan and Dreadit. All they're talking about is how Stab 8 pissed on their childhoods, how they crammed in social commentary just to make it elevated, how the main character's a Mary Sue.

  Richie Kirsch : What's a Mary Sue?

  Wes Hicks : You really don't want to know.

  Amber Freeman : What's wrong with elevated horror? I mean, Jordan Peele fucking rules.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Uh, obviously. But's that not what Stab is. Real Stab movies are meta slasher whodunits, full stop.

  Sam Carpenter : Come on, it's just a movie.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : No, it's not. To some people, the original is their favorite thing in the world. The movie that made them love horror, that Mom or Dad showed them when they were 10 that bonded them together. And God help anyone who slightly fucks with that special memory, who makes a movie they think disrespects it. It sounds like our killer is writing his own version of Stab 8, but doing it as a requel.

  Dewey Riley : Which is?

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : See, you can't just reboot a franchise from scratch anymore, the fans won't stand for it. Black Christmas, Child's Play, Flatliners. That shit doesn't work. But, you just can't do a straight sequel, either. Uh, you gotta build something new, but not too new or the internet goes bug-fucking nuts. It's gotta be a part of an ongoing storyline, even if the story shouldn't have been ongoing in the first place. New main characters, yes, but supported by and related to... legacy characters. Not quite a reboot, not quite a sequel. Like the new Halloween, Saw, Terminator, Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters. Fuck, even Star Wars. It always, always goes back to the original!

  Sam Carpenter : Are you telling me that I'm caught in the middle of fan-fucking-fiction?

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Not... just... in the middle, Sam. You're the star.

  Liv McKenzie : So, not to put, like, too fine a point on it, but, according to requel rules... who's next?

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : Going by the pattern, whoever it is has to be connected to someone that came before.

  Dewey Riley : [as everyone looks shocked and confused]  I'm starting to regret coming here.

  Wes Hicks : Jesus, my Mom's a character in one of them.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : No one cares about the shitty inferior sequels, Wes. You're safe.

  [to Chad] 

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : With Randy as our Uncle, though, you and I are probably screwed.

  Chad Meeks-Martin : Wait, what?

  Richie Kirsch : Or you're the killer and this whole, what, elaborate monologue is just to cover your tracks.

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : [Chuckles]  I think it's pretty clear who the killer is at this point.

  Sam Carpenter : Who?

  Mindy Meeks-Martin : You. It makes perfect requel sense.

• Richie Kirsch : I was with Sam in Modesto when Tara was attacked!

  Dewey Riley : And let me guess, you were just in the other room, conveniently unaccounted for when she was attacked at the hospital?

  Richie Kirsch : [to Sam]  Okay, do I have to take this from shitty Sam Elliott over here, or what?