Open Season 2 (2008)

Crispin Glover: Fifi

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elliot : It's me! Elliot.

  Fifi : Who is Elliot?

  Elliot : I am. And I'm here to rescue my lady, kick butt and take names? What's your name?

  [gets captured and is tied up] 

  Elliot : Wow. Did anybody see that coming?

  All : Yes.

  Roberto : Even Roger saw that coming.

  Roger : I did?

• Fifi : I have had it! No more! The wild animals have pushed me too far! The next Wild I see crawl out of that forest, if they don't have their papers, they are getting a full-Fifi-smackdown! This... Is... War!

• Roberto : How long do you think it'll be till we stop? 'Cause I gotta poop. Seriously, I gotta poop really bad.

  Fifi : I said that it was going to be a long ride, but you never listen. Just like when I told you not to eat that leftover burrito grande.

• Giselle : [being held hostage by Fifi]  Help! Help! Help! Help! Somebody, help us!

  Fifi : Scream all you want. The humans can't hear you from here. And the house pets, well, they hate wilds just as much as I do!

  McSquizzy : When I get free, you're gonna pay for this, you big tube, you numpty, you big lassie's blouse.

  Rufus : Watch your language, varmint. There's a lady present.

  Charlene : What a vile little creature.

  Fifi : My friends, it is time to tame these savage beasts.

• Elliot : If this is the end, I need to say something. Giselle, I really, really, really...

  Roger : Really?

  Fifi : Time's up!

  Charlene : Now you hold your little old horses, Fifi. I do believe this boy's got something on his mind.

  Rufus : Yeah, give the guy a sporting chance.

  Giselle : Oh, just forget it, Elliot. You've already made it clear how you feel.

  Fifi : I feel this has gone long enough.

  Elliot : Please let me finish!

  Fifi : Fine. You've got 60 seconds.

  Elliot : Are you serious? How about a minute?

  Roberto : Hey, you better hurry up.

  Elliot : Okay, okay. Giselle, before the wedding, my rack was huge.

  Giselle : What?

  Buddy : It's true.

  Elliot : Very huge. And it broke very bad. And without my huge rack, I felt like less of a buck. But as time went on...

  Fifi : Thirty seconds!

  Elliot : The point is, I'm a better buck with not a huge rack on my head... but with you, Giselle, on my head instead.

  McSquizzy : Oh, that's awful.

  Giselle : And how does this relate to our wedding and the fact that you left me stranded at the altar?

  Charlene : Left you at the altar?

  Rufus : You, sir, are a coward.

• Roberto : [Fifi prepares to electrify Elliot, Giselle, McSquizzy and Buddy]  Fifi, come on. Is this really necessary?

  Fifi : You see why we have to do this, right? They will take everything. Our food, our homes, our very lives!

• Stanley : Hey, Fifi. Did you hear they found Mr. Weenie? Isn't that great?

  Roger : Really?

  Roberto : Are you sure?

  Charlene : I heard he lived with wild animals.

  Roberto : No. That's horrible.

  Stanley : He's lucky they didn't hurt him.

  Charlene : Or kill him.

  Fifi : Or worse. I was once in the vicious clutches of wild animals.

• Elliot : [to Fifi]  No, no. You are missing the point.

  Fifi : Oh, come on!

  Elliot : [to Giselle]  During our wedding, there was the incident with the other woman.

  Rufus : Another woman?

  [the others gasps] 

  Roberto : I can't even handle one.

  Rico : Speak for yourself, amigo.

  Elliot : No. No. Not that kind of other woman. The kind that grabbed Mr. Weenie.

  Charlene : You're disgusting. You make me sick.

  Rufus : That is a pig.

  Stanley : [to Roger]  This is getting good.

• Fifi : Fifteen seconds!

  Elliot : [grunts]  Will you, please?

  [to Giselle] 

  Elliot : Giselle, you are good. And me? Not always good. But with you, the me that is not good can be better. You make my not-good me almost not bad. And that's not almost good, it's almost great.

  [Fifi starts saying "Tick"] 

  Elliot : So, Giselle, you and me, not badder, but greater. Understand?

  [the others says "What?"] 

  Rufus : What is he talking about?

  Fifi : Tick, tick, tick!

  Elliot : Oh, forget it. Just push the button already!

  Fifi : Finally.

  McSquizzy : No!

  Giselle : Don't.

  Boog : [sliding down the water slide]  Cannonball!

  [grabs Elliot, Giselle, McSquizzy and Buddy] 

  Boog : Gotcha.

  Elliot : I love you, Boog.