- [it is the day of Lord Byrne's funeral]
- Chrissie Williams: Did you hear what Donna said it will have on his gravestone? "Here lies Lord Byrne - Humped to death by the Screaming Skull"!
- [referring to Jac's affair with Lord Byrne]
- Dan Clifford: Oh lock up your grand-dads - the black widow's in town!
- [Dan, Jac and Paul are operating on an elderly patient]
- Dan Clifford: So, Miss Naylor, have you checked out the patient's status?
- Jac Naylor: Sorry?
- Dan Clifford: As your next potential conquest.
- Jac Naylor: [sarcastically] Hilarious.
- Dan Clifford: He's just about the age for you, isn't he? He's worth a bob or two, by all accounts.
- Jac Naylor: Blah, blah, blah.
- Paul Rose: It's a bit of a come-down from the landed gentry.
- Jac Naylor: Zip it, mini-me!
- Dan Clifford: So what time's the funeral?
- Jac Naylor: I wouldn't know.
- Dan Clifford: Are you persona non grata?
- Jac Naylor: I'm glad you find the death of an eminent surgeon the source of such endless amusement.
- Dan Clifford: [to Paul Rose] She really is an ice-queen, isn't she Rosie?
- Paul Rose: Positively arctic.
- [Lola has rebuked Donna for having a hangover while on duty so mixing up two patients with similar names. Now she is having a go at Mark.]
- Mark Williams: You know what, Lola? I knock my pan out, and I am lucky to earn in a month what you make every week for dispensing your Caribbean Christmas-cracker wisdom. Donna is a member of *my* team. And I will deal with her exactly how I like. And while we're at it, *I'm* not answerable to you, either. So if you've got a problem, put it writing to the relevant authorities. Better still, tell your grandma!
- [Abra is giving his best-man's speech at the wedding of Ric and Thandie]
- Percy 'Abra' Durant: We're honoured to have one of Ric's ex-wives here today - the lovely Lola - and I have a text from the others saying "Sorry we're late. Both minibuses broken down on the M4."!
- Joseph Byrne: No-one's ever wanted you, have they Jac, and no-one ever will.
- Jac Naylor: Your dad did.
- Joseph Byrne: That wasn't exactly what he wanted from you.
- Jac Naylor: And what about you? You wanted me.
- Joseph Byrne: Right up until I looked into that cold dead heart.
- Jac Naylor: And yet as he lay there dying, thinking about me and what he'd be missing, rather than his dried-up old stiff of a wife or his spineless son, where were you? Holding his hand? Offering a last few words of comfort? Or locking horns with yours truly, trying to put a dent in my cold dead heart. And that's what really gets you, isn't it? You've got to carry that round for the rest of your days. If it was your father, we both know he'd shrug it off and move on. But not you - not the nail-scrubbing little worry-wart. You'll never shake the feeling that even on his death-bed, you were one big let-down.
- [Provoked beyond endurance, Joseph hits Jac very hard across the face.]