Unhappily Ever After (TV Series)
Driving Me Crazy (1995)
Nikki Cox: Tiffany Malloy
Quotes
-
Jack Malloy : [after being caught by his children posing on the couch with Mr. Floppy] Lock the door on your way out.
Tiffany Malloy : [to Ryan, as they go up the steps of the basement] At least he had his clothes on.
-
Jack Malloy : [to Jennie] I can't say no to the kids. I mean, Ryan climbed on my lap and said we looked like brothers. And Tiffany looked at me with those big sad eyes and said "Whatever Daddy does is okay."
[scoffs:]
Jack Malloy : And you say she manipulates me?
Jennie Malloy : Jack, aren't you scared to drive with the kids?
Jack Malloy : Hey, at the used car lot I drive with drunks, crazies and foreigners every day. Worse, I drive with senior citizens, and worse still, I drive with Asian senior citizens. After that, nothing scares you!
[scene shifts to Tiffany recklessly driving the car]
Jack Malloy : Slow down, slow down, you're not going to beat the train!
[railroad bell dings]
Jack Malloy : No!
[yells in panic]
Jack Malloy : Tiffany! Slow down, slow down!
Tiffany Malloy : Calm down, Daddy, it's the perfect time to speed, I don't have my license yet!
[roadside carnage]
Tiffany Malloy : Ooh. Besides, I'm in total control.
[more roadside carnage]
Tiffany Malloy : What does that sign say?
Jack Malloy : Stop.
Tiffany Malloy : Hah. Stop. At the speed I'm going?
[consults rear view mirror to check up on hair]
Tiffany Malloy : God, my hair is a mess. If a cop stops us...
[to Ryan]
Tiffany Malloy : You don't have a brush?
Ryan Malloy : Yeah, I had a brush. A brush with death! Dad, did you see that? She's gonna get us killed.
Jack Malloy : Yes, I saw it, that's why my eyes are closed.
-
Ryan Malloy : [from back seat] Hey, c'mon, it's my turn to drive.
Tiffany Malloy : I just started, I've only been driving ten minutes.
Ryan Malloy : Yeah, but you covered three hundred miles.
[leaning over front seat]
Ryan Malloy : I'm bored. I wanna hear some music. I'm gonna turn the radio up.
Tiffany Malloy : [yells] Oh my God!
[brakes the car, comes to a screeching halt, causing two other cars to follow suit]
Tiffany Malloy : Oh my God!
[Ryan's face is squashed up against the windscreen, but he is not the reason for her concern]
Tiffany Malloy : Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
[in elated awe]
Jack Malloy : What is it? What is it?
Tiffany Malloy : [gasping with joy, pointing] It's a sale on cashmere sweaters...!
Jack Malloy : [completely ignoring Ryan's predicament] Tiffany, you're going to have to learn to pay attention. Driving is serious business.
Tiffany Malloy : Well, you don't have to yell at me!
[sobs]
Tiffany Malloy : I think someone owes me an apology...!
[voice trembling]
Jack Malloy : I'm sorry, sweetheart, I just... I just overreacted.
[coddles her, still ignoring Ryan]
Ryan Malloy : [hollowly] Dad... I think I broke my nose.