- Carol Jackson: To paraphrase Churchill, Martin's a riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in enigma.
- Keisha: Wrapped in a cocksucker.
- Carol Jackson: I don't think Churchill said that.
- Keisha: He only thought of it after he got home.
- Mr. Bibby: Swimming with dolphins is just about the most exhilarating experience a human being can have.
- Iqbal Kandallah: [incredulous] Is better than wank?
- Martin Jackson: So, I've got the part?
- Natella: Maybe. A lot of people in 8C would have to break their legs first.
- Latrina: [rushing in] The playground wall's just collapsed on 8C!
- Keisha: I is already the most famous girl in school.
- Natella: I think you're confusing fame with notoriety.
- Keisha: Thankyou.
- Natella: [after Latrina joins the drama club] Latrina has a chance to do something really special.
- Keisha: Turning gay is not special, Natella. If Uncle Marlon can do it, anyone can.
- Natella: Latrina is fantastic!
- Carol Jackson: It looks like a star is born.
- Natella: Or indeed any gay classic.
- Natella: You'd make the perfect Carol Jackson!
- Keisha: Is it because I is black?
- Carol Jackson: Largely, yes.