- [Carry Akroyd is a journalist who reviews restaurants. She is morbidly obese because she cannot stop eating]
- Dan Clifford: Try reviewing sushi bars.
- Carry Akroyd: Japanese? D'you think if they lift the whaling ban, they might serve me a whole one?
- [discussing an operation to fit a gastric band to reduce Carry Akroyd's appetite]
- Carry Akroyd: Can I choose which colour band I get? I have survived temptation by malted drink, sandwich box and macaroni cheese.
- Dan Clifford: Sorry, the gastric band is off.
- Carry Akroyd: Scuse me? This is a hospital, not a restaurant.
- Dan Clifford: The patient I was going to bump has become an emergency.
- Carry Akroyd: What about the juggling? Dropped the balls, have we?
- Dan Clifford: I haven't dropped anything.
- Carry Akroyd: Or maybe you never had any in the first place.
- Dan Clifford: I can't do it, OK. We'd need enough anesthetic to knock out a hippo.
- Carry Akroyd: [plaintively] I've been starving myself.
- Dan Clifford: Well don't stop now. In another decade or two you might be somewhere near normal.