The Office (TV Series)
The Deposition (2007)
Steve Carell: Michael Scott
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Scott : You expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.
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Jan Levinson : Remember, it's not just a pattern; it's a pattern of disrespect and inappropriate behaviors.
Michael Scott : Dis ray. My friend Dis Ray got new specs. Dis ray spect. My friend Inappro drives a Prius with his behind neighbor.
Jan Levinson : ...Does this work for you?
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Diane Kelly : It's admirable, the way you defend a woman who is so obviously ambivalent about her relationship with you.
Michael Scott : Thank you very much. You didn't have to say that.
Diane Kelly : Considering she consistently gave you such poor performance reviews.
Michael Scott : That was before our relationship. She was going through a divorce, and she was drinking a lot.
Diane Kelly : Okay.
[Jan looks shocked]
Michael Scott : ...Of water.
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Michael Scott : Hey, Snyder, real quick. What do you call a butt load of lawyers driving off a cliff?
Lester Snyder : A good start. And I think it's busload.
Michael Scott : Yeah, a bunch of rich lawyers took the bus.
[to Jan]
Michael Scott : Where did you find this guy?
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Lester Snyder : How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Michael Scott : 6 years and 2 months.
Lester Snyder : And you were directly under her the entire time?
Michael Scott : That's what she said.
Lester Snyder : Excuse me?
Michael Scott : That's what she said.
Lester Snyder : Ms. Levinson told you that she was your direct superior?
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Lester Snyder : Did Ms. Levinson ever say why she thought she was being fired?
Michael Scott : She thought it had to do with the twins. That's what I call them.
Lester Snyder : Can you be more specific? Who are the twins?
Michael Scott : Um, to be delicate, they hang off M'lady's chest. They make milk.
Lester Snyder : You don't need to go any further.
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Jan Levinson : All right, I stole your diary and gave it to my lawyer. You emailed a topless photo of me to everyone in our company. Let's call it even.
Michael Scott : Fine. I love you.
Jan Levinson : I love you too.