The Office (TV Series)
The Job (2007)
Rainn Wilson: Dwight Schrute
Photos
Quotes
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Dwight Schrute : What is the ratio of Stanley Nickels to Schrute Bucks?
Stanley Hudson : The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
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Dwight Schrute : I am going to be your new boss.
[chuckles]
Dwight Schrute : It is my greatest dream come true. Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time is now. Checkout time is never.
Jim Halpert : Does my room have cable?
Dwight Schrute : No. And the sheets are made of fire.
Jim Halpert : Can I change rooms?
Dwight Schrute : Sorry, we're all booked up. Hell convention in town.
Jim Halpert : Can I have a late checkout?
Dwight Schrute : I'll have to talk to the manager.
Jim Halpert : You're not the manager? Even in your own fantasy?
Dwight Schrute : I'm the owner. The co-owner. With Satan!
Jim Halpert : Okay. Just so I understand it, in your wildest fantasy, you are in Hell, and you are co-running a bed-and-breakfast with the Devil.
Dwight Schrute : Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet.
Jim Halpert : Go.
Dwight Schrute : $80,000 a year.
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Dwight Schrute : Once I am officially regional manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable, fictional, and overqualified.
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Pam Beesly : So you would be the regional manager and the assistant regional manager, Andy is your number two. I would be the secret assistant regional manager.
Dwight Schrute : Mmm, let's call it secret assistant to the regional manager.
Pam Beesly : Mm-hmm.
Dwight Schrute : Do you accept?
Pam Beesly : Absolutely I do.
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Dwight Schrute : Although, publicly, I am going to retain the assistant regional manager position.
Pam Beesly : You will be your own assistant.
Dwight Schrute : Correct. I need someone I can trust.
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Michael Scott : Why is my office black?
Dwight Schrute : To intimidate my subordinates.
Michael Scott : That's stupid.