Birds of America (2008)

Matthew Perry: Morrie

Quotes 

• Morrie : I'm relieved you're not a child molester, but you can't go around touching people.

  Jay : People need to be jolted.

  Morrie : No, people need to be comforted, and you don't comfort them by satisfying your own curiosity about breaking down boundaries and rules. Some people really like their rules, they've chosen them, and you don't get to choose what rules other people obey or not; they do.

• Betty Tanager : She is not staying here.

  Morrie : Calm down.

  Betty Tanager : Calm down? We don't need to put Jay in an institution. This is already an institution. My god!

  Morrie : She'll just stay here until we talk to Jay and clear things up.

  Betty Tanager : Whoa, clear what? We're fucked! We're totally fucking fucked! How many years have we been kissing their asses, and for what? I mean, did you see their faces as they ran for cover? We're pariahs. We're totally fucked. Fucking pariahs.

  Morrie : Okay, the big issue right now is Jay.

  Betty Tanager : No, no! The issue is me, for once. It's me. I don't even know how many eggs I have left.

  Morrie : Eggs? Oh.

  Betty Tanager : Oh, god. Look at you. It's the last thing on your mind.

  Morrie : Calm down.

  Betty Tanager : No, I'm not calming down. I am going to Nancy Kennedy's and i'm going right now, and I do not want you to try to stop me or try to change my mind so shut up.

  Morrie : Are you...

  Betty Tanager : Shut up! I'm taking the car!

• Morrie : Paul and Laura got a dog. And it relieves itself on our lawn many times a day.

  Jay : Did you say anything?

  Morrie : Can't.

  Betty Tanager : Can't do anything we'd like to, really. Not yet.

  Morrie : Paul is one of the faculty members who recommended me for tenure.

  Betty Tanager : And he's on the board of regents. And he golfs with the Provost.

  Morrie : And I need his support.

  Jay : No, that's not what you need.