My Family (TV Series)

Four Affairs and a Funeral (2007)

Tricia Kelly: Celia Phillips

Quotes 

• Susan Harper : Hello, Ben! Do you want to tell me who this really is?

  Ben Harper : This? Th-th-this... this is nobody!

  Susan Harper : Oh no?

  [Takes out some pink knickers] 

  Susan Harper : Then whose are these?

  Stacey : Those are mine!

  Susan Harper : And who is she?

  Celia Phillips : She's his wife!

  Stacey : No! I'm his mistress!

  Susan Harper : I knew she wasn't your receptionist!

  Celia Phillips : You said she was your wife!

  Susan Harper : How dare you say she was your wife?

  [Slaps Ben] 

  Ben Harper : No, Susan! She's not my wife or my mistress. She's his mistress!

  [Points to picture of Henry] 

  Celia Phillips : And you knew about this?

  [Slaps Ben] 

  Celia Phillips : When were you going to tell me?

  Ben Harper : I was going to, but it... just didn't come up.

  Stacey : What's this woman doing with my pants?

  Susan Harper : I found them in his trousers.

  Stacey : [Gasps]  What have you been doing with my pants?

  [Slaps Ben] 

  Ben Harper : I-I-I... was avoiding any embarrassment!

  Celia Phillips : And to think that you were Henry's golf partner!

  Ben Harper : I've never played golf with Henry in my life!

  Celia Phillips : Liar!

  [Slaps Ben]