- Paige Whedon: Connect four.
- Kevin Walker: What? Where?
- Paige Whedon: One, two, three four. I win.
- Kevin Walker: What, whoa, what? Wait, were you distracting me? That was a set up?
- Paige Whedon: Yeah.
- Kevin Walker: Wow, great strategy. Wait till you're old enough for game night.
- Holly Harper: Listen to me. I have had a front-row seat to that family for years. I know what it feels like to be an outsider, how enticing they can be. But whatever you think you want from them, trust me, you are not going to get it this way.
- Rebecca Harper: Excuse me?
- Holly Harper: I know you, Rebecca. And I am guessing that Joe did not just come on to you out of the blue.
- Rebecca Harper: Just because you're a whore it doesn't mean that I am.
- Nora Walker: This is not a class. You're asking me out. Is this because I wouldn't go out on a date with you? If it is mister, let me tell you this is sexual harassment and I don't plan to take that lying down.
- Mark August: The jokes that are running through my head right now.
- Nora Walker: Well, keep them there.
- Paige Whedon: Uncle Kevin, can I ask you a question?
- Kevin Walker: How come I got all the good looks in the family?
- Kitty Walker: Will you marry me?... Oh. Oh my God. No, no-no-no, I didn't, did I just say, yes I did, I did, I just proposed to you.
- Robert McCallister: I think that you just did.