Hospital Nurse:
[
after Bertram's colonoscopy] Come back soon.
Bertram Pincus:
What a terrible thing to say in a hospital.
Frank Herlihy:
[
to Bertram about his ability to see ghosts] Everybody needs something done and you're the only person who can see or hear us.
Bertram Pincus:
[
points to Gwen's shoes] Shoes. You're shoes are - comfortable?
Bertram Pincus:
[
unwillingly giving hospital nurse personal information] Invasion of my privacy, that's what it is.
Admitting Nurse:
Wait'll they get you in the back.
Bertram Pincus:
All work and no play makes Jack- a vital member of society.
[
last lines]
Gwen:
It hurts when I smile...
Bertram Pincus:
I can fix that for you.
Bertram Pincus:
I was dead and now they brought me back. I can... I can...
Frank Herlihy:
The dead have a lot of unfinished business, which is why we're still here.
Bertram Pincus:
Did anything usual happen during my operation?
Surgeon:
You... uh... died for seven minutes.
Bertram Pincus:
I died! For seven minutes!
Surgeon:
We brought you right back. People die all the time.
Bertram Pincus:
Yeah, but it's usually just once... at the end.
Bertram Pincus:
[
walks through a ghost, sneezes]
Day Doorman:
Bless you.
Bertram Pincus:
Oh, god, thank you.
Bertram Pincus:
[
walks through a ghost; sneezes]
Day Doorman:
Bless you.
Bertram Pincus:
Thank you...
Bertram Pincus:
[
walks through a ghost; sneezes]
Day Doorman:
Bless you!
Bertram Pincus:
Thank you.
Bertram Pincus:
[
walks through a ghost; sneezes]
Day Doorman:
Bless...
Bertram Pincus:
Stop it! If I... if I sneeze again, I'll just assume... it's not you, it's... you can't... it's a little bit you, but it's mostly...
[
walks away]
Bertram Pincus:
[
weakly] I love you!
Gwen:
Don't call me!
[
about the mummified remains of Pepe]
Bertram Pincus:
They even put his penis in a big jar. I mean why... why would they do that?
Gwen:
Well... you saw that penis; it wouldn't have fit in a little jar.
[
seeing Pepe's mummified penis in a jar]
Bertram Pincus:
Woah! Well, I can see why he was King!
Gwen:
[
laughs]
Bertram Pincus:
No, really!
Gwen:
[
laughs]
Bertram Pincus:
Well, I can see he died happy...
Gwen:
[
laughs even harder] Okay, that's enough!
[
closes jar]
Bertram Pincus:
He must've had huge hands...
Gwen:
No, no...
[
discussing the kind of man they need to romance Gwen]
Frank Herlihy:
I was thinking he should be rugged... you know?
Bertram Pincus:
No, not rugged... just... approachable...
Frank Herlihy:
Really?
Bertram Pincus:
...Round-faced, if anything... and sensitive.
Frank Herlihy:
Well, he should at least be tall...
Bertram Pincus:
No, no, no he's not.
Frank Herlihy:
No?
Bertram Pincus:
No, just... average...
Frank Herlihy:
Average.
Bertram Pincus:
...Bordering on short.
Frank Herlihy:
Hmm...
[
pause]
Frank Herlihy:
[
laughing] Good god, you mean *you*!
Bertram Pincus:
Dr. Prashar - you're from a... scary country, right?
[
pause]
Dr. Prashar:
I'm from India...
Bertram Pincus:
But, you're not... Christian, like us?
[
pause]
Dr. Prashar:
I'm a Hindu...
Bertram Pincus:
Yeah. So, um, how would you extract information from a hostile?
Dr. Prashar:
Well... as a... Hindu person... I would just... ask him... politely...
Surgeon:
Everybody dies.
[
Pincus is about to go talk to Gwen]
Frank Herlihy:
You should lose the scrubs.
Bertram Pincus:
I'm a dentist - I just came from work. This is what we wear.
Frank Herlihy:
Fine...
Bertram Pincus:
This is how we do it, baby.
Gwen:
We just get the one life, you know. Just one. You can't live someone else's or think it's more important just because it's more dramatic. What happens matters. May be only to us, but it matters.
Bertram Pincus:
Only floss the teeth that you want to keep.
Gwen:
You don't like crowds?
Bertram Pincus:
It's no so much the crowd, as the individuals within the crowd.
Bertram Pincus:
Listen, our time together, as we both know, has been rather unpleasant. But I will say this: even though you're a vulgar man - boorish, distasteful, uncouth, uneducated, *stupid* - at least...
[
long pause]
Frank Herlihy:
You gonna finish?
Bertram Pincus:
Done.
[
shrugs]
Dr. Prashar:
Dr. Pincus, at some point in your life, you're gonna have to stop and ask yourself the ultimate question.
Bertram Pincus:
[
nods curiously]
Dr. Prashar:
"This business of... being such a fucking prick, what is it really getting me?" Huh?
Related Links
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