- [Jeff is treating a patient in the bottom of a trench that is full of water]
- Jeff Collier: Dix! You got my snorkel and flippers up there?
- Kathleen 'Dixie' Dixon: You'll be all right with your webbed feet.
- [Nathan objects to the Red Nose charity events in the department]
- Nathan Spencer: Charlie, is this a hospital or a funfair?
- Charlie Fairhead: Er, I dunno, mate - I haven't been here long enough!
- [giving Angus a local injection in his hand]
- Maggie Coldwell: This shouldn't hurt.
- Angus Deayton: Ow! Why did you say it *wouldn't* hurt when it *did*?
- Maggie Coldwell: Well I suppose pain is comparative, isn't it?
- Angus Deayton: Well you're the expert, but I would have though that jabbing a very large needle into the back of somebody's hand probably does hurt.
- Maggie Coldwell: That's not a large needle.
- Angus Deayton: Well it felt pretty large to me.
- [she shows him a six-inch syringe with a long needle]
- Maggie Coldwell: *That* is a large needle.
- Tess Bateman: All the computers in Admin are playing up.
- Nathan Spencer: Do I look like someone with poor social skills and inadequate personal hygiene?
- Tess Bateman: No.
- Nathan Spencer: That's because I don't work in IT Support.
- [the screen that shows how long each patient has been kept waiting has crashed]
- Maggie Coldwell: [sarcastically] Oooh. What a shame. How *will* we function without Big Brother?