A Perfect Getaway (2009)

Timothy Olyphant: Nick

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nick : What's the first thing you do when you step onto a plane? Maybe you have a sip of that fine champagne? You do fly in first class, right?

  Cliff : I put away my shit like everyone else.

  Nick : Well, when I board a plane, making my way back to the cheap seats, I clock every door. I pace off the distance between those exits and my seat. That plane loses power on takeoff, I can make egress in the dark, totally blind. If the aisle crowds up, I'm going to climb over the back on 36D, guy with that shiny-ass toupee, make the over the wing exit. And I know the handle swings down not up. And I know the door swings in not out. And I know all that inside of 30 seconds, before they even pop the cork for you up there in Hollywood class. See, if you wait till the emergency happens before you decide what to do, you're already dead.

  Cydney : What chance do you have of that happening?

  Nick : Happened in Sioux City.

  Cydney : Sioux City?

  Nick : DC-10. If rolled 4 times on landing. Wound up in an Iowa cornfield, 112 people dead.

  Cydney : Yeah, I remember watching that on TV.

  Nick : Yeah. I saw if from the inside.

  Gina : He is really hard to kill.

• Cliff : So you were like Special Ops. What were you Seals? Rangers?

  Nick : Officially, I'm only allowed to say that I've been a sworn officer participating in a phase of certain missions that would make most men want to crawl up and hide inside their own assholes.

  Cydney : and unofficially?

  Nick : I'm a goddamn American Jedi. Possible title number one, by the way.

  Nick : Hey, see this? Took a frag from a Bouncing Betty. It's an antipersonnel mine. Caved in the back of my fucking head. Medevaced out to Germany. Got my skull rebuilt with space-age titanium. Can't go through a metal detector without ringing cherries, but that's cool. Let's me travel with Gilligan just about wherever I want.

  Cydney : Gilligan?

  Nick : My little buddy

  Cliff : That's some toothpick

  Nick : Here's the kicker, though. When I took that shrapnel, I never felt it. I mean, I felt the impact and I felt my backside go all wet, but no real pain. Now, maybe I don't recall the events in full. They did scoop out a little gray Spam back there, but get this. My wolf pack? They will swear that I was ambulatory for more than 17 minutes before they forced me to lie down. Tackled me. Even then I was looking to monkey-fuck a Marlboro Light. There's no nerve endings in the brain Cliff. Remember that when you write the scene.

  Cliff : Yeah, there's some really good details there.

  Gina : Yeah, he's really hard to kill.

• Cliff : Ah I bit my tongue, I hate that.

  Nick : That's gonna stop hurting in a second...

• Gina , Nick : [last lines - in unison]  I don't need no honeymoon / let's not do a honey moon...

• Nick : Outstanding!

• Nick : [handing her the ring]  This is for you.

  Gina : Holy crap.

  Gina : Did you get it from the store in Honolulu?

  Nick : eBay.

  Gina : How long have you had it?

  Nick : Year and a half.

  Gina : A year and a half? Well what were you waitin' for you dumb bastard!

  Nick : The right moment...

  Gina : Baby, you are a man in full.

• Nick : You know, if you're so fricking smart you could play stupid once in awhile.

  Gina : That'd be your job.

• Nick : Keep shaking that bush Luke, so we know where you are... keep shakin' that bush!

• Cydney : Well, um... how close is it?

  Nick : It's like everything else in Hawaii, as close as far away gets.

• Nick : Those boys are comin' in heavy, you might want to hang back and let 'em do their thing.