Muppet Babies (TV Series)

The Daily Muppet (1986)

Frank Welker: Kermit, Skeeter

Quotes 

• [the kids are trying to figure out how to replace Nanny's newspaper] 

  Kermit : I know. We can make her another newspaper.

  Skeeter : But we don't know anything about making newspapers.

  Rowlf : Yeah. The only training I've had in the newspaper business is when I was housebroken.

• Kermit : Hey, you guys, you know why Nanny's so upset?

  Babies : Uh-uh. Why?

  Kermit : Because she loves to read the newspaper in the morning and her paper is wrecked.

  Rowlf : Kermit's right. She threw away her paper 'cause it got all wet.

  Scooter : Maybe we could get her another paper.

  Piggy : How are we going to do that?

  Fozzie : We could go back in a time machine and hold an umbrella over the newspaper so it doesn't...

  Babies : Fozzie!

  Fozzie : Uh, get wet.

• [the kids had just printed their newspaper] 

  Kermit : But there's only one page.

  Gonzo : Aw, no problem.

  [grabs some of Scooter's printing paper] 

  Gonzo : This should do it.

  Kermit : Uh, Gonzo, that's blank paper.

  Gonzo : So what? Nobody ever reads any of that inside stuff anyway.

• Gonzo : Stop the presses! Stop the presses!

  Kermit : Uh, Gonzo, we haven't even started them yet.

  Gonzo : Uh, really?

  Kermit : No. Why did you want me to stop them anyway?

  Gonzo : I don't know. That's what they always say in newsrooms.

  Kermit : Oh, boy.

• Fozzie : Hey, Kermit, how about printing a newspaper joke on the front page?

  Kermit : Huh?

  Fozzie : Like this one: What's black and white and red all over?

  Kermit : Aw, gee, Fozzie, everybody knows that joke.

  Fozzie : They do?

  Kermit : Uh-huh. Newspapers are black and white and read all over.

  Fozzie : Gosh, that's not the joke I was thinking of. I thought what was black and white and red all over was a skunk covered with strawberry jam. Ha ha ha ha ha!

  Skunk : Boooo!

  [the skunk sprays at Fozzie] 

  Fozzie : [holding his nose]  Phew! I'd rather be hit by a tomato any day!

  [a tomato hits Fozzie] 

  Fozzie : Thanks.

• Kermit : How are you coming with that music review, Rowlf?

  Rowlf : [gives Kermit his paper]  It's all ready, chief.

  Kermit : Huh?

  [Kermit only sees musical notes on the paper] 

  Kermit : What kind of review is this?

  Rowlf : Well, I don't know how to write words, so I wrote it in music.

  Kermit : Sheesh.