- Chandler Bing: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go over there, and I'm gonna kick his ass! Will you help me?
- Joey Tribbiani: Look, Chandler - I don't think us getting our asses kicked is the solution.
- Monica Geller: In all my life... I never thought I would be so lucky. As to... fall in love with my best... my best... there's a reason why girls don't do this!
- Rachel Green: Phoebe! You picked Joey AND Ross! You cannot have two backups!
- Phoebe Buffay: Of course I can. It's just good sense to back up your backup. Look, I've already lost Chandler.
- Rachel Green: Phoebe, you can't have both of them; you have to pick one.
- Joey Tribbiani: Pick me.
- Dr. Ross Geller: No, pick me. I don't want to end up an old maid.
- Phoebe Buffay: Alright; well, let's see... Ross is a good father, but Joey has a boat. This is hard.
- Joey Tribbiani: This is crazy. Hey, look - I want to switch to Rachel.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Ooh, I want to switch to Rachel, too.
- Phoebe Buffay: No, wait - just wait. Don't make any rash decisions. OK, just remember my promise. If we get married... three times a week.
- Rachel Green: Oh, my God, Phoebe.
- Phoebe Buffay: I'm talking about massages.
- Rachel Green: Oh.
- [when Rachel looks away, Phoebe shakes her head and mouths the words "No I'm not"]
- Chandler Bing: I was gonna propose tonight.
- Dr. Richard Burke: You were gonna propose?
- Chandler Bing: Yeah - I even got a ring.
- [Puts ring on center cushion]
- Chandler Bing: Did you get a ring?
- Dr. Richard Burke: No, I don't have a ring.
- [thinks a moment, then decides]
- Dr. Richard Burke: You go get her, Chandler. And can I give you a piece of advice? If you do get her, don't let her go. Trust me.
- Chandler Bing: Y'know, Richard... you *are* a good guy.
- Dr. Richard Burke: I know. I hate that!
- Rachel Green: Some people make deals with a friend - like if neither of them are married by the time they're 40, they marry each other.
- Phoebe Buffay: You mean a backup.
- Rachel Green: Yeah - exactly.
- Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, yeah; I've got that.
- Phoebe Buffay: You do? Who?
- Phoebe Buffay: Joey.
- Rachel Green: Joey? Are you serious?
- Phoebe Buffay: Yeah; I locked him in years ago.
- Rachel Green: Wait - so if neither of you are married by the time you're 40, you're gonna marry Joey?
- Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, we shook on it... but believe me, that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
- Monica Geller: [Monica shows up at Richard's front door] I don't know why I'm here.
- Dr. Richard Burke: I didn't ask. Do you want to come in?
- Monica Geller: I don't know.
- Dr. Richard Burke: Oh, OK; well, I'll just leave the door open, and go sit on the couch.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, you want me to be your backup.
- Rachel Green: Exactly.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, yeah - I already have one.
- Rachel Green: What? Who?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Phoebe.
- Rachel Green: Phoebe? But she said Joey is her backup.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, I don't think so.
- Rachel Green: Ross, I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal.
- Dr. Ross Geller: That's impossible. I mean, we had a deal for years; we shook on it. Although, believe me, she wanted to do a lot more than that.