- Dr. Rodney McKay: Let me ask you a question. Say there's a runaway train. It's hurtling out of control towards ten people standing in the middle of the tracks. The only way to save those people is to flip a switch - send the train down another set of tracks. The only problem is there is a baby in the middle of those tracks.
- Teyla Emmagan: Why would anyone leave a baby in harm's way like that?
- Dr. Rodney McKay: I don't know. That's not the point. Look, it's an ethical dilemma. Look, Katie Brown brought it up over dinner the other night. The question is: is it appropriate to divert the train and kill the one baby to save the ten people?
- Ronon Dex: Wouldn't the people just see the train coming and move?
- Dr. Rodney McKay: No. No, they wouldn't see it.
- Ronon Dex: Why not?
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Well... Look, I dunno. Say they're blind.
- Teyla Emmagan: *All* of them?
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Yes, all of them.
- Ronon Dex: Then why don't you just call out and tell them to move out of the way?
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Well, because they can't hear you.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: What, they're deaf too?
- [Rodney throws him a look]
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: How fast is the train going?
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Look, the speed doesn't matter!
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Well, sure it does. If it's goin' slow enough, you could outrun it and shove everyone to the side.
- Ronon Dex: Or better yet, go get the baby.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: For God's sake! I was just trying to...
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Hey, don't start. I tried to negotiate with you.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Making a list of demands and not giving anything in return is not negotiating.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: I offered you an entire crop of beans.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I don't need beans. I need lumber.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Oh, right - to build defensive fortifications for your army, which he doubled in size, by the way. Surprise, surprise.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: I only did that after you started cheating.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: I did *not* cheat.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: He's giving his people *way* too much technology for their level of development. I'm not the only one increasing my army, by the way.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: I had to do something to protect the people of Geldar from you.
- Ronon Dex: Geldar?
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: The name of Rodney's country. He named it after a girl he stalked in college.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: I did *not* stalk her. We dated twice. Teresa Geldar - a very cute blonde. I always used to think her name reminded me of some kind of a mythological land: the Kingdom of Geldar.
- Teyla Emmagan: [to Sheppard] What did you call *your* country?
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Well, I just kept the name it already had.
- Baden: I sent gifts of goodwill.
- Nola: You sent crates of citrus fruit! Citrus! Do you have any idea what an insult that is to my people?
- Baden: It didn't used to be.
- Dr. Elizabeth Weir: OK, see, I think I know where that comes from. Did M... the Oracle tell you that citrus fruit was bad?
- Nola: He made us aware of its toxic properties, yes.
- Baden: Everything is toxic to you!
- [to Elizabeth]
- Baden: If they're not busy insulting us, they're complaining about contaminated food, improper hygiene. Even the sunlight is dangerous to them!
- Dr. Elizabeth Weir: How the hell did your face get on that flag?
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Uh, I don't know. Here's the thing, though: that flag's very similar to the one I designed in our game.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: It's *exactly* like the one you designed in our game.
- Dr. Elizabeth Weir: What game?
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: The game Rodney and I have been playing.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: We didn't tell you about the game?
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: We've been playing for a while now.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Yeah, off and on in our spare time, you know - at night, between missions, uh... I could have sworn we told you about it?
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Don't worry about it. They'll work it out. Look, we just happened to catch them at a particularly bad time. Sheppard's guy's been doing a lot of aggressive posturing of late.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: The only aggression is coming from the people of Gelding.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: Geldar.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Whatever.
- [to Elizabeth]
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: His people are digging a mine across the border into Hallona.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: The coal resources straddle the border between my country and his.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Barely! They go three miles into my country - which your people are happily tunnelling into.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: It has been a point of contention between us, OK, but it is just a difference in cartographic interpretation. Tomayto. Tomahto.
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: No, no, it's pretty clear cut. *You* entered illegally into *my* country.
- Dr. Elizabeth Weir: Gentlemen.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: [to John] You gave me no choice! You refused to negotiate!
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: You mean give in.
- Dr. Rodney McKay: What do you care anyway? It's not like your people were gonna use the coal!
- Lt. Colonel John Sheppard: Oh, yeah, that's right. You need it to power your medieval steam engines.
- Dr. Elizabeth Weir: These are not your lands. This game is over, so you'd better set aside your differences, because if the two of you can't figure out how to forge a truce, how the hell are these people going to?