- Liz Lemon: Tracy took advantage of my white guilt, which is to be used only for good like overtipping and supporting Barack Obama.
- Tracy Jordan: I can't read Liz Lemon. My shameful secret is out... now you know why I'm always running into the ladies bathroom.
- [walks into hallway]
- Tracy Jordan: I can't read! I sign my name with an X! I once tried to make mashed potatoes with laundry detergent! I think I voted for Nader! NADER!
- Liz Lemon: Okay, here's your pep talk. You're not an actor. You're Jack Donaghy, all right? So quit whining and NUT UP. You're right. If you can't do this, you ARE a failure. Josh can do this, and earlier today he ate a club sandwich with the toothpick still in it. Jenna can do this, and she was once engaged to David Blaine. Any dumb-dumb can act, Jack. So be a man and get it done.
- Jack: If you were any other woman on earth, I would be turned on right now.
- Jenna Maroney: Yeah, but this is different because I know Jack Donaghy. I know what he likes.
- Liz Lemon: Yeah. So now you just have to make yourself 10 years younger and Asian.
- Liz Lemon: I'm sorry, you're saying you want us to use the show to sell stuff?
- Jack: Look, I-I know how this sounds.
- Liz Lemon: No, come on, Jack, we're not doing that. We're not compromising the integrity of the show to sell...
- Pete Hornberger: Wow, this is Diet Snapple?
- Liz Lemon: I know, it tastes just like regular Snapple, doesn't it?
- Pete Hornberger: You should try Plum-a-Granate. It's amazing.
- Cerie: I only date guys who drink Snapple.
- Stage Announcer: Jenna Maroney and Ghostface Killah to the stage for "Muffin Top".