Louise Lasser: Mary Hartman

Quotes 

• Mary Hartman : [Davey has a pistol pressed against Mary's head]  Is that a real gun, Davey? It's not real, is it? What is that, a little toy, little water cap pistol?

  Davey : No, it's real.

  Mary Hartman : Oh, it is real. Oh. See, I saw this skit on "The Howard Cosell Show" once. It was a hilarious skit. Tina Louise had a gun, and she took out her gun, and she pulled the trigger, and a sign came out that said "Bang!" Isn't that hilarious, Davey? Does yours have a sign, Davey? It does, doesn't it?

  [Davey points pistol at ceiling and fires, plaster rains down on Mary's head] 

  Mary Hartman : It's real.

• Mary Hartman : [Tom joins Mary in the murderer's hideout]  We were just having a nice little chat, and I don't know if you two know each other, but Tom, this is little Davey Jessup. And Davey, I'd like you to meet my ex-husband Tom.

  Tom Hartman : Ex? Whaddaya mean "ex"?