My Name Is Earl (TV Series)
Very Bad Things (2006)
Jaime Pressly: Joy Turner
Photos
Quotes
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Joy : British people don't steal trucks! They drink tea and live in castles!
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Joy : [about Randy] Hey; at least he's thinking! It's not his fault he's bad at it.
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Jasper : Same reason I don't let amateurs cut my hair, they make mistakes!
Tatiana : It was not mistake.
Jasper : Yeah well you better pray I find that ear lobe.
Tatiana : He won't mind. Jasper is too much sissie to be a real criminal, this is why we live in cement closet. Bring me to this truck and I will buy with my own money I steal from Jasper.
Joy : I like you. If I could ever get used to staring at that thing on your face we could hang out.
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[at the Crabshack, Joy is playing a game of pool against an unnamed female opponent as Earl looks on]
Earl : [voiceover] When we were married, I wasn't very good at backing up my wife in arguments with strangers.
Joy : Twelve ball, side pocket.
[Joy's opponent fouls the shot by hitting Joy's pool cue]
Joy : Okay: do it again, and I'm gonna pop those boobie implants of yours, make you fly around this bar like a loose balloon.
Earl : It was an accident, Joy...
[leers at opponent's chest]
Earl : I think they're real.
Joy : [angered] Oh, so you're on *her* side?
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[Joy has stolen a truck from the Bargain Bag store because they wouldn't refund her $3000]
Earl : [horrified] Stole a truck?
Joy : [adamant] Because they wouldn't give me my money back! It was a crime of principal like when Rosa Parks stole that bus!
Earl : They wouldn't even give you a store credit?
Joy : No.
Earl : That doesn't seem fair.
Joy : Thank you! Which is why you have to help me sell the truck.
Earl : Sell the truck... Joy, that's against the law.
Joy : Earl, this is not about the law. It's about right and wrong, and isn't that what your list is about, rights and wrongs? Doing unto others all that Robin Hood/Batman/Jesus stuff?
Earl : Well you got a good point. The store DID do you wrong. I don't know if Jesus or Batman would sell a truck, but Robin Hood might. Okay, I'll do it. But you're not getting a penny more than three thousand dollars.
Joy : Of course not! That would be wrong...
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[At the Crabshack, Joy is playing a game of pool against an unnamed female opponent as Earl looks on]
Earl : [voiceover] When we were married, I wasn't very good at backing up my wife in arguments with strangers.
Joy : Twelve ball, side pocket.
[Joy's opponent fouls the shot by hitting Joy's pool cue]
Joy : Okay: do it again, and I'm gonna pop those boobie implants of yours, make you fly around this bar like a loose balloon.
Earl : It was an accident, Joy...
[leers at opponent's chest]
Earl : I think they're real.
Joy : [angered] Oh, so you're on HER side?
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Jasper : [Looking at the picture of the Bargain Bag truck Joy stole] Not going to buy it.
Joy : Why not?
Jasper : Because I can't sell it.
Joy : What! You once tried to sell an Iranian baby on the Internet.
Jasper : Yeah, but he didn't have 'Iranian Baby' tattooed on his forehead.
Joy : Please; like they wouldn't find out he was Iranian when he started talking.
Jasper : Besides, you're an amateur and I don't buy from amateurs for the same reason I don't let amateurs cut my hair
[staring at Natalia]
Jasper : , because they make mistakes.
Natalia : It was not mistake.
Jasper : Well, you just better hope I find that earlobe.
